Everything I have told you is a lie.
Including that.
Anyway, I thought I would share with you a little bit of what has been on my mind as of late...
1. My cute black ceramic cake stands
My mom and dad gifted me with them, for Christmas. Aren't they so lovely on the dining table?
My mom and dad gifted me with them, for Christmas. Aren't they so lovely on the dining table?
2. Ted's horrible Mexican hot dog.
Ted has been talking about picking up one of these bad boys at a corner cart, for weeks now. Finally I caved. We went...and I watched in horror as he paid for his sick-nast hot dog. He even had the audacity to ask me to HOLD it for him as he drove us home. I had to roll down the window to stick my head out so I could breath clean, un-sick-nast air, to keep from sudden death.
Ted has been talking about picking up one of these bad boys at a corner cart, for weeks now. Finally I caved. We went...and I watched in horror as he paid for his sick-nast hot dog. He even had the audacity to ask me to HOLD it for him as he drove us home. I had to roll down the window to stick my head out so I could breath clean, un-sick-nast air, to keep from sudden death.
3. Ted consuming poisonous horrid Mexican hot dog-ness.
He hung over the sink as the mixture of mayo (yes...mayo on the horrid thing) and mystery sauce slopped out of the bun. I gagged and decided to take a shower to rid myself of all uncleanliness. You know...since I had to hold it. And kiss the boy that consumed it.
4. Look what I found...
He was peeping out of my bedside table, pretty much begging me to read him. I will meet you later...you Zac Efron filled magazine of deliciousness.
He was peeping out of my bedside table, pretty much begging me to read him. I will meet you later...you Zac Efron filled magazine of deliciousness.
5. I have been under the weather.
So when I sent Ted out to pick up my prescription, he brought these home too. I squealed! Look...he even bought me a vintage milk-glass vase. He knows me well :)
So when I sent Ted out to pick up my prescription, he brought these home too. I squealed! Look...he even bought me a vintage milk-glass vase. He knows me well :)
6. This is the best friend of two people with sinus infections.
Srsly.
Srsly.
So, a lot of you have asked questions about my hair. Some want to know if my hair is naturally curly...or if it is straight. Many want to know how to obtain the "Lauren curls". Well...have no fear! I have created a tutorial for all of you. I haven't patented my hair or anything, so you can go ahead and do it the same. I won't send my people after you.
STEP 1
When you step out of the shower, quickly put your hair in a stylish towel-do. It is the cool thing to do. Heck...you can skip the rest of the steps, because I think it is hawt.
When you step out of the shower, quickly put your hair in a stylish towel-do. It is the cool thing to do. Heck...you can skip the rest of the steps, because I think it is hawt.
STEP TWO
De-towel yourself...make sure you have clothes on...because it could get cold....and awkward. Anyhow, once the towel is de-toweled...well, just stand there and wait for step three. What else?
STEP THREE
Brush out that rat's nest, that I am sure you have. What? What is that you say? You don't have a rat's nest? Well...then you can leave.
Make sure that you part your hair FAR to the side. If you have bangs, comb them to the side as well, to create a swoopy-di-doopy effect that everyone goes crazy about. It also causes blindness in the eye that they hang in. It's brilliant.
STEP FOUR
Shake it to the left....
Shake it to the right...
C'mon baby, you know what I like.
Sorry...I gotta a little country music scandalousness stuck in the noggin'.
STEP FIVE
Let your hair air dry for about 15-30 minutes. Once you have, and your hair is naturally curly (like mine)...then you are probably experiencing horrible frizz at this point. Just don't go outside and scare the neighbors. It isn't nice. Unless they are mean. Then go right ahead. I will wait for you to get back....
*waiting*
STEP 6
Bust open the big guns. Ok..that sounded way wrong. Bust and big shouldn't be said together. Kbye. Anyway...pull out your blow dryer. Remember not to let it fall in a sink full of water...that would be hazardous.
Thurrrr she blows.
STEP SEVEN
When you are done drying...your hair should look exactly like this.
just kidding.
If your hair looks like that...then I can't help you.
Your hair should be thoroughly dry...and can be frizzy and a bit wavy. I try to make mine as smooth as possible though...it makes things easier.
Look...I tried to make a 7 with my arms...for step 7 of course.
STEP 8
Heat up your straightening iron and curling iron...
So pretty much heat up the tools that will help in destroying your lustrous hair.
Aka...my best friends.
Thanks mom for the cute matching flat iron and curling iron! You would even be proud to know that I don't use the highest setting! I know how much you worry about my hair getting fried. Hey, mom...I smell something burning. I will wait to continue the tutorial, until you get back.
While my mom is away, I will just turn up the heat a bit...shh...don't tell.
STEP NINE
Straighten the bangs in a sweeping motion, in the direction that the hair is going.
Ooo...I am giving you the scandalous eyes.
STEP TEN
Hold out a piece of hair, horizontally. Spray with with hair spray (I suggest Paul Mitchell: Freeze and Shine) and let dry for a few seconds.
STEP ELEVEN
Clamp down on the hair, in the middle of the section. That is the key to success!
STEP TWELVE
Turn in the direction of the iron, until you reach the scalp....
STEP THIRTEEN
Slowly move the iron around until the whole strand is clamped, then roll up the the scalp. Hold there for about 8 seconds. In the meantime, talk or sing to yourself. I tend to do the talking.
STEP FOURTEEN
Finish one curl, and realize that you have about 60 more to do before you are finished. I was so bored with one curl, that I decided to just put my hair in a braid. Sorry for no finished product.
THE END.
PS...Thank you to all who participated in my poll. The number in ex: AMC24 means there is 24 theaters in the complex. Ty and I can now proclaim that Ted and Sierra are foolish for not knowing this piece of information. Thank you, and good night.
69 awesomespice comments:
You and I are hair twins! Only mine is black and boring, not pretty golden like yours.
I will follow tutorial and send pics. I do all the steps, except I straighten it. But my boyf likes the curls, so I think I might surprise him this weekend...
Oh, and wow, I beat the famous Nancy Face to #1 post? Wow.
Third!
Now I will read the post. :P
I shall show my daughter this tutorial.
We have Paul Mitchel freeze and shine. Yep. Buy it buy the quart to refill the cute little bottle that is easy to hold.
I just combine mousse with 2 other products and blow dry a little. you know. to control the fuzz. Scrunch a little bit and move on to my make up.
Your curls are prettier and more refined than my product tamed afro:P
How did we beat the Nancy Face? That is unheard of, I tell you.
Best..tutorial...ever!
Although having 4 kids under 8 I would not have the patience to do my hair like yours. Even if I tried it wouldn't look very good. I can't even braid hair...for reals.
The mexican hot dog made me throw up a little bit.
1)-So sad you have been sick.
2)-Tedward with roses and Sweet vase = Awesome husband.
3)-Love the cake stands.
4)-Love the candle holder in your bathroom... :)
5)-Jealous that you have natural curl.
6)-You have skills. Teaching while taking pictures skills.
Awesome girl.
Forgot to say..
Roses=so sweet!
Love the cake stands too!
basically thank you for giving the hair tutorial! I'm glad to see someone else has an afro! people don't ever believe you when your hair looks amazingly straight and you try to tell them you have an afro..but its possible!
Wow, I'm almost tempted to post a pic of my rats nest, but the face isn't as cute so I'll spare you.
You are so smart and funny and lucky and smart and funny and....
bff, i'm sorry you've been under the weather! i hope you're feeling a bit better.... ie, that you're hovering above the weather again. (where does that random phrase come from, anyway?!) your Tedhusband is awesome to get you such beautiful roses in such a lovely vase. i guess his niceness means you have to forgive him for his gross-lookin' Mexican hotdog. sneeeeaky, Ted, sneeeeaky...
anyway, back to tutorial-ness.
i'm pouting for 5 minutes.
k, i'm back.
i don't have a straightening iron or a curling iron. i don't have Paul Mitchell: Freeze and Shine, either. i do have a hairdryer... so i can get up to Step 7. *sigh* i guess we'll just have to add this to the list of rituals we'll perform when i come to visit you someday, mmkay? sounds like a plan ;) for now, though, i will protect my lustrous hair from destruction. and pout.
i call 10th... and where is Nancy Face? *looks around puzzledly*
beautiful! i thoroughly enjoyed this tutorial. you are quite a pro at those lovely curls. thanks for all your sweet comments on mine and nikis blog. it means alot! hope you feel better. sinus infection=miserable misery.
I love the cake stand.
How sweet of Ted to get you the roses. I love the vase.
You are talented taking those pictures while doing your hair. I am so bad with hair. That is why I like my hair short.
"If your hair looks like this then I cannot help you"
I am laughing sooooo hard at that! You are like an angel from heaven Lauren, you have no idea how much I needed a good laugh.
My hair is a ball of frizz and my hair straightner is truely my best friend..so I know exactly what you mean! :)
Why are you the funniest person I know? I know I don't really know you, but you're the funniest. I don't usually laugh out loud at the computer, but I was laughing so hard at this post. Silently, because my husband is sleeping next to me. Now I have a headache. But it was worth it. Thanks for always making me laugh.
I'm sure Omar is eager to try doing his hair like yours. ;)
Nancy, you know me too well.
I do have to ask, how long do all these hair shenanigans take? My daughter's hair is a curly rats nest, and I just want to know what I have in store for me.
I apologize profusely for my punctuation omission. I have embarrassed myself and will now go into hiding.
Lauren you are awesome. That is all.
OH! And I am jealous I can not do my hair like that. I am growing it out so in 5 years I'll pull up this post and give it a whirl.
OK gorgeous! Do you actually think I have time in the morning for that hair???? I will simply have to look at your lovely locks and be sooooo jealous.
I'm on the "Mom of 3 do I actually have to blow dry" style at this point. I need a full face of makeup for work (Clinique gal) so the hair takes a back seat to the face.
Happy Thursday!!!!!
Too bad I don't have lovely locks ; ((((
Oh well.
Love all the pictures--you are too fun.
Love it when awesome husbands bring home flowers to brighten your day! it's the best. Also, WAY cute cake stands... and love your, is it, Live Laugh Love sign in your bathroom. So cute.
You + this post = Perfection!
Awesome post! I love the step by steps! I will have to try that, and I don't know if you would know but could you use a straightner to curl instead of a curling iron? I 've always wondered that.
Amy - You CAN use a straightener to curl with, but it won't have the same effect. It only works on short hair...and the end result would be an edgy look. It looks cool...just different.
i love it! probably too much work for my simple mind but still very cute!
Where or where did Ted find a Mexican Hot Dog? Jake and I have been looking for them ever since we left Tucson (Sorry - they're delicious). PLEASE let me know!
You are hysterical! I love your sarcasm, funny words and witty personality! Once again I was totally entertained! I was telling my sister who turned me on to your blog, that it is better than reading a good book, I look forward to your post like a good piece of chocolate cake cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, try it its sinful! I love your home decor all the time, you have such impecable taste! ttfn Trish
Um, yep. I'm too lazy to do that. Can you come do my hair for me??
SHUT UP! OK, roughly 6 days ago I thought to myself, Lauren needs to do a post about how to curl her hair..with step by step instructions! I forgot to ask you to.. but you read my mind! I don't read other peoples comments to you so it's not like they gave me the idea. Crazy- and thanks!
Way to go Ted on the vintage milk-glass vase..I'd even know what that was!
Great tutorial :) Your curls look so pretty. I can't get mine to stay. I'll try the Freeze and Shine.
One question: on step STEP ELEVEN
"Clamp down on the hair, in the middle of the section. That is the key to success!" the tutorial moves to "STEP TWELVE
Turn in the direction of the iron, until you reach the scalp...."
Does this mean you are curling FROM the middle of the section?
Please tell Ted that this Mexi approves of his Mexi-dog.
Eggnog
Mexi-dog
wasabi
What else Lauren?!?
I have no rat's nest. Feel blessed for your rat's nest.
I love my curling irons. I'm like a pro. That is all.
No Cool - Yes. You must curl from the middle of the strand to succeed :)
Okay, so I always wondered about your amazing curls, thinking you had found some amazing curlers or something, but no, you get down and dirty, curling one little strand at a time....major respect for so much hair patience.
Your hair swinging...in Lauren lingo was....HAUT!
And Ted's hot dog....oh dear...the bun must have been all soggy by the time he ate it, which makes the entire concoction 10 times worse.....EEEEWWWWWWINESS!!!
Ummm....yeah, I'll pass on the hot dog. Thanks.
As for the locks of beauty: too many steps for me, but you look great! I will have to remember this post & show it to my girls when they are old enough to flat iron & curl their own hair. (For now I do this for fear of fingers--or ears--being burned.)
I just love reading your blogs that is why i put you on my blog i admit that i was blog stalking you too. ha ha :)
Totally what my hair looks like after a good blow dry a big hot mess of frizz!
That is so sweet he got you flowers :)
Lauren thank you for showing me how to get FAB hair! Ha! I love you, you make me laugh. . . HARD!
hey thats how I curl my hair!(...when I curl it...most of the time I am too tired in the morning to do it)
and everyone that comes into the salon and wants thier hair spiral curled! I love it
and its so easy once you get the hang of it!
:)
Those are some GREAT pics! Where in the world did your parents get those cake stands?! They are gor-geous!!!!
I have always wondered about how you got your hair so cute but I never voiced that wonder. I've always wanted to curl my hair but I never do it right ('cept for one time in college, long story, but my hair was great!). Thank you for the tutorial, it's cute!
Did your hubs enjoy the icky hot dog of doom?
LOVING the cake stands. SO cute! I love your style and the way you've decorated your home. My home = BORING.
And your tutorial has inspired me to attempt to curl my own hair...? Perhaps its all about the hair spray! =] I can never get my hair to hold a curl...but my stylist can. go figure.
What!!! Not cool! I wanted to see the finished product!!
I can't do my hair to save my life!
Hi, my name is Kayla. I am a friend of Kaylen's. She showed me your blog a while back cause I too have a missionary and she knew I would love how hilarious you are. I love your blog and check it out all the time! I love your hair as well, so it was awesome that you put a demonstration on here haha!
I love your adorable tutorial! And your cake stands. Your pics made me laugh, you're such a cute, gorgeous gal!
I'm a bit envious of your hair. Mine is straight and thin. *Sigh* At least it dries quickly.
hi-five for this awesome of all posts. that is a heck of a lot of work, woman. to blowdry and THEN curl. i say no thank you. so, the way i do mine and ava's curls, is i just let them air dry overnight and then curl in sections with lots of hairspray in the morning. ava's hair when it is curled reminds me a LOT of yours. anyway..kudos to your kickbutt post. my favorite pic is you with the just done blowdrying hair.
Uh yea... when you finish Tori's hair come do mine too k?
WE've been sickly and using the humidifier too but it died last night and left a puddle on my wood floors. nice.
love the hair tutorial and love your cake plates and at almost midnight of a day of starvation I think I almost licked the screen and I hate hotdogs.
On the days I choose to curl my hair (like, once a year), I go about it the same way, and I always get poop head.
Which means you're a better woman than I am. I rest my case from our facebook conversation the other day. You win, and I get to be the pathetic martyr! Ha!
Seriously, though. Beautiful hair.
the cake plates rock! i have a yellow one very similar! and your hubs is too adorable, bringing home roses for his sicky wife.
LOVED the tutorial. i already know how to achieve "lauren curls" however, i still read it because i was thoroughly entertained with the fabulous commentary.
Now I want some black cake stands. I guess I'll go shopping now.
lol.
haha... Ty didnt know! :)
i love this tutorial.
i love you and your blog, dang it!
this is seriously up there with my favorite posts of yours... but i just cannot possibly ever replace the "my husband knows i poop" post or the "my husband waited 21 years to sleep with a girl and chose a book and the couch instead"... so this will have to be my third favorite.
Eeek! I think I am the only person on the planet who doesn't like Mexican food and that hot dog was wrong. Just. Wrong.
I am always envious of your locks! I give you an A+ on your hair tutorial, except that it made me sad my hair isn't long and glamorous anymore, boo!
1. I LOVE those cakestands & all your home decor for that matter.
2. pretty flowers & kudos to Ted for the vase instead of a plain boring clear one. You know the one's that flowers ALWAYS come in & then after awhile you seem to have multiple ones
3. Your hair pictures are hilarious but you are still so cute & gorgeous. Towel on head, detoweled hair, frizzed hair blown out, curled, whatev. You're cute.
4. I liked seeing how you curl yours-ppl ask me how I curl mine all the time too but I have a little different process. I'll have to try yours out though!
5. Um I just liked this post. You're awesome & cute!
PS I knew too that the number meant how many theatres! We had an AMC 24 in Colorado-my real home! I just forgot to participate in your last post! Cool I feel special for knowing that too :)
So, I totally have the same blow dryer as you. Thank you very much for the oh-so-informing tutorial. Now I will continue to be jealous of your hear for all eternity. By the way, Emily Cole told me that she saw you at CPK! Haha.
i just realized i haven't left you love in a while. i apologize! i love the tutorial i always wondered how you got those perfect curls. I also love how you only curled one strand, taking numerous pictures of yourself during the task gives you MAD PROPS... btw i fell in love with hobby lobby. & i found the perfectly lauren decorated jeans store in layton utah. crazy i know.
I am pleased to see we have the same hair when we reach step 7. Love it. J/k its sick nasty....but hey we are blessed to know how to fix it!
haha this is a great post. You crack me up! First off I love your cake stands, and your cute house! Second...I am WAY to LAZY to do all those steps, but I would have to agree starting in the middle gives the best curl!
Absolutely LOVED the tutorial! Fabulous! When I do my swishy bangs it doesn't look like that. Am I supposed to rotate my hand to get the curl effect? I'm going into cosmetology and I totally suck so any advice would be awesome! More tutorials please...love the silly faces btw! Love ya!
You are hilarious!
...and your hair is beautiful.
Emily's hair tutorial:
shampoo
condition
wrap in towel
if there is no baby crying rub a dolop of Bed Head's Small Talk thru it
comb with wide-toothed comb
brush before leaving the house
Hopefully you don't think I'm a psycho lady here commenting when I don't know you, but that's okay if you do. I just have to tell you that your twilight blog sucked me in--my friend Angie gave you some award and so I looked it up, and then found this blog too. You are hilarious--thanks for making me laugh today!
thank you for the demo!!! I didn't know that the curling iron clamped half way up the hair strand is the trick! then slowly move it down?? BRILLIANT! Thank you Hair Goddess!! :D
... or hair fairy.. whichever is less sacrilegious. :)
Your reception pictures were gorgeous. I love the colors. How long does it take you to do your hair when you don't braid it after the first curl? ;)
Hubby saw the tutorial and was laughing because he asked about the finshed product and I told him you just stopped there and braided it.
What kind of straightener and curler do you use?
Post a Comment