Yes.
Disneyland was fantastic.
No.
I didn't only take pictures of Pocket Edward on the trip.
Yes.
An awesome post is to come.
No.
I didn't really miss any of you, while I was gone.
Yes.
That was a bit harsh....but true.
No.
We didn't really get any sleep on Tuesday.
Yes.
We did actually go to Disneyland ALL day, then drove home ALL night, and got up early for work the next day.
No.
I am not kidding.
Yes.
You can feel bad for me. It's ok. I won't mind. I encourage it.
No.
I didn't come home and immediately unpack.
Yes.
It was a pain in the butt to find the crap I needed for getting ready for work.
No.
I couldn't find my toiletry bag. Apparently Ted had moved it and forgo ten to tell me where it was before he left for work.
Yes.
I was running late, and had to pee really bad, but didn't have time for a pee-break. I couldn't find my toiletry bag!
No.
I couldn't call Ted to ask him where it was; he foolishly left his phone at home.
Yes.
I was pissed.
No.
I didn't say a swear word.
Yes.
I finally found my toiletry bag.
No.
It wasn't in my suitcase.
Yes.
Ted had moved it to a weird spot: the inside of the cooler. What the?
No.
I still hadn't taken a pee break...and I was doing my "I-have-to-pee-like-a-mother" dance.
Yes.
I only had 5 minutes to get ready. So, in a hurry I plugged in my straightener and yanked off my pants, throwing myself onto the toilet in one quick movement.
No.
The seat wasn't the only thing up...BOTH LIDS WERE UP.
Yes.
My entire butt fell into the toilet.
No.
I am not lying.
Yes.
I FREAKIN FELL IN THE TOILET. My butt. In the toilet. Soaked. Splash. Boom. Bam. In.THE.FREAKIN.TOILET. for serious. no lie. scout's honor. cross my heart. don't hope to die.
No.
I still made it on time to work.
2.27.2009
an epic tale.
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49 awesomespice comments:
HAHAHA Lauren that is so sad but oh so funny! I am so sorry that happend to you! Come on Ted, don't leave a girls Toiletry bag in the WRONG place.
Anyway I still have your birthday present! and believe me, you are going to want this. I am going to visiting teach CC either today or tomorrow, so I will give it to her for you. :)
Brea - I want to hang out again! And I want to sit by you this time, so I can talk to you! Are you free?
In case you missed my reply comment on my twi-blog: your new profile pic is made of the awesomeness. As is this blog post. It literally made me spit my drink onto the computer screen. No. Lie.
These toilets really have it in for you, Lauren.
Maybe you should declare a truce. ;)
Oh Lauren, I saw that you fell in the toilet and was waiting to hear the whole story. That's never good... I think I would have had to shower again. So, did you have to clean up before you got to go potty? Did you have to wait even longer?
Jennifer - Sadly, yes...I had to clean up before I could go pee! It was torture!
Squash that habit before you have 6 sons and it happens all the time. "Train up a husband in the way he should leave the toilet seat down, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs of Marriage 22:6
Thanks for a laugh. I needed that today.
You should have called it an epic tail, since yours got soaked.
Ah to be young again and have the energy to still function on no sleep!
Awesome! Falling in the toilet is always a treat.
hahaha! no fun! I hate that feeling it's like not knowing there is another step..but a lot worse...! at least you went to Disneyland :)
Oh NO! I can't believe you fell in . . . how very sad . . . I feel way worse for you for that than for the having to go to work w/out sleep thing . . .
But YES! that you made it to work on time!
I hope the next Lauren adventure isn't quite so epic . . . or at least doesn't have quite so many "NOs" ;)
And you made it on time to work! I think it should be a rule that every house should have his and hers toilets. Since they don't, I have drilled into my sons heads that the seat goes DOWN when they flush. I hope my future daughters-in-law appreciate my drilling.
And that my dear Lauren is why we put both the seat and the lid down at my house.
Well it's really because I used his towel to dry off my butt and he didn't like it much so in my brilliant mind I came up with the compromise.
Anther plus is that things don't fall into the toilet when the lid is closed.
Sorry about the booty dunk. That used to happen to me all of the time when I was younger because of my dad. I made sure my hubby was trained to the max. To this day he has only left the seat up once.
I like Klin's idea of using her hubby's towel. Awesome.
In the toilet? I know how you feel abou the dreaded toilet. Good thing you fell in at home and not at work.
Falling in the toilet like that has only happened to me once.. and that was enough.. It's got to be one of the GROSSEST feelings EVER!
Haha! The other night in all my sleepiness I went to the bathroom and both lids were up. I didn't fall in, but I came close. What I'm trying to say is that I can relate--almost.
You are so funny@! I saw some of the Disney Pics on FB I loved them, I thought tha was fantastic you brang Pocet Edward there, what a lucky little plastic butt!
I love this blog! I love the form...with the whole yes/no thing....you are so FUNNY!!! Just the ways you word things, it just makes me laugh, I'm tellin' ya.
I can't believe you fell in the toilet. That's so awesome and gross at the same time.
Oh.My.Gosh. That has to be the funniest/saddest thing I've heard happen to someone when they only have FIVE mins to leave.
You already told me this in person, and after laughing like a stupid hyena for 10 minutes, you'd think I'd be done laughing at you.
Nope.
Still laughing my head off! :D
You don't have very good luck with bathrooms.
I can't believe you stayed all day at Disneyland and then drove home and then went to work. You must be exhausted.
ah man...
that's the worst!
i'm totally impressed that you were still on time to work!
Oh girl...Butt in the toilet???
What a way to start the day.
Thanks for the sweet comment and bloggy hug. Much needed. All is better now but the recap will probably come later.
Oh my heck I'm laughing so hard! Only because I experienced the same thing too, and I was so mad I could hardly think straight. LOL! I'm sorry you started your day off with a booty dunk. Look at it this way: at least Tedward flushed =]
I can't help but laugh... and then laugh some more.... it is a sympathetic laugh, does that make it better?
This has happed to me a few times, but the all time worst was when I was 8 months pregnant....Not a pretty sight!
hey lauren...I put something in my blog for you....
Yes.
I am sorry you fell in the toilet, my love.
No.
I am not happy that you deleted your sidebar with my cool linky exclamation mark.
Yes.
I understand why. It was too long. I gets it.
No.
I still can't believe you fell in the freaking toilet!
Yes.
I am copying you. Whoops..
No.
I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.
Yes.
I still have a desperate want for your brown waistcoat (but you can keep Pocket Edward).
No.
I am not joking... I love your waistcoat. I love it so much it is making me feel sick... gah.
Yes.
I and all of my lame plagiarismness are leaving now.
Did you get electrocuted? Or is that just if you fall into a toilet holding a blow dryer? Or is it if you are holding a blow dryer and fall into the tub? Hmmm. I can't remember. ;)
hahahahahahahahaha!
how am i supposed to not laugh when you do such a good job of telling the story?
hilarious.
HILARIOUS.
tell ted that "toiletry" bags do not belong in the cooler... um hello!! :)
Boys need to take a toilet seat etiquette class before being allowed to get married. Oh, and can they also be taught that the toilet paper actually goes ON the roll and not on top of the roll or on top of the back of the toilet? I'll even teach the class!!!!
Sorry you fell in!
NO
I am not laughing with you.
YES
I am laughing at you.
Maybe this post could have been named "An Epic Fail".
also, ewwwww.
I'm highly impressed with making it to work on time after all that craziness. I have issues with time efficiency and being on time. and well the clock is my mortal enemy. and I will find my vengeance... but anyway enough about me. Yay for Lauren being all about on time an posting a totally funny post about it.
YOu got that insanely cute vest at forever 21... yes? (:
Holy friggin hilarious. I'm not gonna lie, glad it was you - not me - whom fell in the toilet. But hopefully your toilet is cleaner than mine right now... which means I should be cleaning, not blogging. Oops.
i leave you comments, and we never see each other in real life. :( i've never been on your uber-cute sofa and chatted. sad sad day.
love, andrea
You Bozo.
Wasn't that you sleeping in the car THE WHOLE WAY HOME?
It's happened to me. Kyle couldn't understand how I could sit without looking first. He just doesn't know.
I'm glad you had a nice time. Sorry about the soggy bottom...
Has happrned to all of us at one point ... having to pee.
Andrea - You need to come over and visit us tonight! And sit on my sofa!
lol. That is so stinkin funny! I can't believe you fell in a toilet!
Your "Hey You" posting on the sidebar is HILARIOUS!
P.S.
If I lived close to you, then a loaf of fresh, hot whole wheat bread would be on your doorstep!
what is it with you and toilets????
I, too, have fallen in the toilet. And what is it with guys packing things in weird places? Sei does that all the time.
hahahaha. sorry but this reminds me of two days ago when max was sitting on the toilet and i had to run out to throw a dirty diaper in the dumpster and ava comes running out to me say that max had fallen in the toilet. it was very traumatic for the poor guy.
still smiling at you falling in the toilet. hehe. sorry. i'm done now.
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