to my valentine

Dear Ted,

You know what they say about your first real fight. Do you remember when we had our huge fight, 4 years ago? The time you hurt my feelings, and I said that horrible thing to you? Yes, I hate to remember it as well. Just for memory sake, I said this...

"Ted, you used to be the only person that could make me happy when I was sad. Now you are the one that is making me sad."

And then you silently turned, and walked to your car to leave. As I turned to go into the house, I realized we were probably breaking up....


I realized my horrible mistake, so I turned and ran to you. You already had the car started, and you were about to drive away, but when you saw me next to your window, you stopped. You opened the door, got out and wrapped your arms around me and we cried. We cried, we said sorry, we kissed, and after that...

We knew we had to be together.

Fast forward 4 years later, and here we are. Married. In love. Together. Forever.

This morning, when you left for work, I had every intention to sleep in and be a bum. But when you left, my heart ached for you. Not just because it is Valentine's Day, and I find it devastating we can't spend the day together, but because I always ache when you are away.
I decided to get out of bed and look through pictures of us. It reminded me of so many beautiful memories. Remember when we shook hands when you had just gotten off of the plane, after your mission? I don't know how it felt to you, but to me, it was like electricity. I thought at the time, that the electricity was from excitement, but I was wrong. The electricity never went away. Some things, never change...

Thank you for walking me to the bathroom, getting me drinks of water, rubbing my feet and being my slave right after I had my surgery...Thank you for rubbing my feet, getting me drinks of water, grocery shopping, doing the dishes, and fetching me blankets when I am cold, every day of your life...

Thank you for telling me I am beautiful every morning before you leave, and 500 times every evening...
I love you for making me promise that the ONLY gift I would give you for Valentine's Day is a week of me not saying, "I am fat." It's hard, but I am trying for you...
Thank you for remembering the importance of taking me on dates every week. Costa Vida+LOST=freakin awesomeness, honey :)
Thank you for bringing home flowers when I am sick, sending flowers to my work, and especially yesterday, when you showed me a picture you took of all of the tubs of roses at the store, just so I would know that they were all wilted, and that you didn't want to buy me wilted roses...
Thank you for wanting me, when you came home from your mission...even though I was broken. You helped me heal...

Thank you for being my best friend. My one, true love. I truly think we were meant for each other. Like you said once, I thank God that he placed us on the earth at the same time, and in the same place. How lucky we are that we met. I love you, honey. You are the man of my dreams, who happens to be husband :)

I have a confession...I was reading your journal, and I swooned. A month before we got married you wrote...

"I love Lauren. I am not sure when I fell in love...all I know is that I fell. And I fell hard."

Happy Valentine's Day ♥