Lately, I have been worried about Pocket Edward's weight. I mean, he weighs a whole 3 ounces these days...and I just don't want the other Pocket Chewbaccas and Pocket Troy Boltons to make fun of him for being a little chunky. For instance, the other day I couldn't find Pocket Edward ANYWHERE. He wasn't in any of his usual pocket-hiding-places-of-awesomeness.
Well, I walked into the living room, to find a pile of chocolate dumped out the candy jar and onto the ground. Guess who was the cause of this....
Yep. Wee Edward himself. I decided it's about time I took matters into my own hands. (Since his hands aren't really functional...it was my only choice. You know how it is.)
1. The work out Equipment
I told Pocket Edward I would get him the manliest, most expensive weights he could ever possible imagine...
I told Pocket Edward I would get him the manliest, most expensive weights he could ever possible imagine...
2. A secret.
Shhhhh...Don't tell Pocket Edward that I made his "fancy" work out equipment.
I don't want him to get pissed and bite my head off.
Because he would.
He has temper problems.
4. Weight lifting like it's no one's bizzzness.
I showed Wee Edward how the pros do it (since I am a pro)...
He thought he was the shiz lifting that really heavy QTip...ohhh...I mean...weight.
Oooo, look ladies...It's Edward pumping iron. Only the dream of your life!
5. Running in the sunset...
After lifting weights, Pocket Edward begged for me to go on a run with him.
No, I didn't ride on his back.
That would have been freakin insane.
My nose is longer than his body.
End of story.
6. Edward is a rock star.
From the moment I set him down on his wee wittle feetsies....
...he was OUT OF THERE!
He is so fast you can't even see him!
Amazing!
7. Edward does the "YMCA"...
He thought the 2D man looked ridiculous and thought it would be beneficial to the park for them to hire him as the new work out demonstrator.
I approve.
Look...he is so much cooler doing a jumping jack than that lame-spice stick figure of stupidness.
OK...I will admit it. He looks more like he is doing the "YMCA" than a jumping jack...but stop hatin! His joints are a little restrictive.
8. Edward (I) was not amused by this "Beam Jumping" dude.
He looks like he is praying to Mecca....not doing an exercise. In any event...Pocket Edward wanted to try out this exercise as well....
Here he is mid-flight...
Umm...Edward?
Oh Noes!
Edward's fallen...and he can't get up!
9. Pocket Edward thought this dude had a beer-belly...I concur.
Or is it a girl?
The push up bar was a wee bit too high...
( I am embarrassed for him, just looking at this )
So he kicked it old-school...What a champ.
10. Umm...someone call 911. This guy looks like he is in need of assistance..of something.
Everything about this guy looked wrong.
Edward was not amused.
Perfect moment to say...
EPIC FAIL.
Just touch it Edward. I dare you.
11. The temptation.After a long work out, we were getting rather hungry.
It was quite unfortunate that Pocket Edward spotted these poor little fellas...
"Here...ducky ducky ducky..."
12. refueling.ATTACK!
"OM NOM NOM NOM!"
*FACEPALM!*
72 awesomespice comments:
LOL I love this Lauren!!! Pocket Edward adventures are my favorite!
Second. Neat-o.
I'm so glad that you got Pocket Edward to exercise. He WAS looking a bit plump. I didn't want to say anything...
Got to love the work out equipment.
Poor Pocket Edward. The Parks and Recreation people should be more thoughtful of Pocket people and their needs.
Ha ha ha ha. I can't believe how clever you are. That was way funny, I quite enjoyed it. I'm impressed that he could lift his weights...I saw those q-tips and shivered...they are so heavy. But....it IS Edward.
You are so dedicated to your art (and by "art", I mean "blog") - and for that, I love you. Good stuff...
I LOL'd mightily at this:
Edward's fallen...and he can't get up!
Classic Pocket-Edward Pictorial. :)
Thank you for filling us in on what you and Pocket Edward have been doing of late . . . exercise is such a healthy thing to do . . . and I'm so pleased you've got him on a strict regimen with that!
I totally agree with Sara though . . . the Parks Department needs to be more concerned about the fitness needs of Pocket People . . . do I smell discrimination?
Oooh, Pocket Edward is so manly!
*swoons*
My favorite part:
"After lifting weights, Pocket Edward begged for me to go on a run with him. No, I didn't ride on his back. That would have been freakin' insane. My nose is longer than his body. End of story."
Pocket Edward is BOMB. Srsly. I would give anything to see his face during the EPIC FAIL. Ok, I know he doesn't show much emotion, but still...
A note to Hannahkin - does "bomb-Diggory" come from Potter??
<3
Pocket Edward is BOMB. Srsly. I would give anything to see his face during the EPIC FAIL. Ok, I know he doesn't show much emotion, but still...
A note to Hannahkin - does "bomb-Diggory" come from Potter??
<3
Oops. Sorry! :)
Oh this KILLS me!! I'm glad to see Pocket Edward taking his fitness seriously. Sad day for those ducks.
I see why you were so excited! This was a good one. P.E. looks so funny when he's disgusted----he's ALWAYS disgusted-looking.
I actually think you are crazier than I am, and I love your for it. I love the pocket Edward posts.
Wow, can you make me some of those weights?
I love Pocket Edward's adventures!!
I have a Pocket Han Solo and Pocket Chewbacca and they are indeed pretty buff. Way to make Pocket Edward work.
OK So its official you ARE the funniest person I know, and I only sort of Bloggie know you! My husband and I were reading your blog the other night ( I think he an inthecloset Lauren fan) and he was all like OMG her husband must think she is totally nuts... I was like oh dont be a hater your the one all up in my business on my side of the bed reading right along with me so HA
Also I have to say Asia and I get together these days and all we talk about is your awesomest BLOG, it is so funny, she is your edwards blogs biggest fan and I am your Larens blogs biggest fan, I guess I just love opening up your Laurens blog to see the most beautiful wedding picture in the world! :)
Asia found a life size Edward at the party Store Zurchers last week and bought it, it is so totally cool, it is hysterical that it is hiding in her daughters bedroom closet when her hubs gets home and her dog barking almost gave it away the other day. I told her we should buy YOU one and send it to you! LOL
You are such a riot and so entertaining! TTFN Trish
You're awesome crazy. And you take really good pictures. :)
What will Pocket Edward do next? Eat a bowl of Golden Spoon goodness by himself? Drink lemonade by Tempe Town Lake on a picnic with his best lady friend? Go skydiving??
haha! I wondering what he was up to! you are soo funny!
haha! I wondering what he was up to! you are soo funny!
i love love love your posts. they make me laugh. and since this post is about edward i just wanted to let you know every time i see the commercial for the twilight dvd (out march 21st) i think of you and your pocket edward.
Adventures of P.E. has become my very favorite thing ever. I can't wait to see what crazy antics he'll be up to next time. Thanks for starting my morning with a laugh.
i woke up this morning with pocket edward on my brain.
weird.
considering i am not his biggest fan, but whatev. maybe i am a closet edward lover.
anyways... i have two really big questions for you and pocket edward.
1. what happens to him during the day? does he go everywhere with you- just in case a blog opportunity were to come up? and if he is with you all the time, does he just sit in your purse? if he isnt with you- then does he chill in a special little edward house that you hand crafted? does he watch TV? does he steal your chocolate all day? i absolutely must know the life of pocket edward.
2. when you sleep at night... does he creepily watch you from your night stand? do you have a special little spot for him to sleep? dont tell me he sleeps with you and Ted. that is not okay.
3. (okay so i lied, i have three questions)... will you ever get more twilight pocket people? will pocket edward be alone- well, i mean, alone with YOU- which isnt a bad thing, ... forever?
Where is that at? I had no idea there was a park around here that told you how to exercise. That's kind of amazing.
On another note, that pocket Edward sure gets around...
As impressed as I am with Pocket Edward's fitness skillz, I am really impressed with your photography on this post! Beautiful color! What kind of camera or software are you using? Wow!
When you wrapped the Q-tip in tinfoil I was a gonner - Laughing so hard I almost peed my pants and that would not have been pretty.
Hilarious!!!
I think Pocket Edward may be the "next" reason we all want to work out!! I could see it now.. Edward at Gold's Gym..
1. Coveting the choclate. It looks sooo good right now
2. You must find the Willy Wonka machine to blow up Pocket Edward and you can seriously train together.
THEN, you and full size Edward can exercise/hug/rollaroundinthegrass/accidentlykissacouplehundredtimes
you know, whatever happens at the park...
haha I love pocket Edward's workout adventure. So this is how he gets those manly, plastic-y muscles. Hot. You're hilar!
ahahaha pocket edwards work out gear is awesome.
the fact that he attacked that poor duck... SAD DAY.
oh and i love how fast he runs... because that means you run pretty fast too. since you were right next to him.
Love it!!
I'm thinking, Pocket Edward workout video!
I'm also thinking...Pocket Edward vs Pocket Troy Bolton Smackdown!
You make me smile...
Man o Man P.Edward looks like he had quite the workout. Wish my biceps looked more like his. Dang...
I'm glad you're the funny kind of insane instead of the disturbing kind.
I love it. You crack me up...
What an awesome work out! Don't forget stretches and some time in the hot tub to loosten those plastic limbs....I admit I am a wee jealous:)
Jensen Family - If you sent me a lifesize cut out IT WOULD BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
Tutton Family - Ooo! I love to be associated with all things Twilight :)
Holly - Before I answer your question, I must ask you one of my own. (1) What is it about Edward that you don't like? I want to know. Hmm...I would answer your questions now, but I decided I will make a post out of them.
Amy - It is at Sherwood Park...it is awesome! :)
Gina - Thanks! I use a Canon Powershot Elph 7.8 MP :)
Omar - Thank you for the compliement :) haha! But seriously...someone turn me in to an institution if I become a non-funny insane person. (which I won't)
Lauren dear, you say the craziness follows you????
YOU CREATE THE CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
RatalieNose - Yes, but you know that I am a really normal person. I am not crazy...I just like ACTING that way. Let me tell you who is a crazy...
Today as I was entering the library, a lady lifts her arm all the way up, sticks her face in her armpit...inhales BIG TIME...then sees me looking at her. She said, "I am sorry...I just smell horrible!"
Umm. thanx?
Lauren,
You seriously crack me up!
That library post above made me laugh the hardest! oh my!
Thanks!
Just when I think that your blog can't get any better....IT DOES!!!!
What is it with libraries and weird people? Is it because libraries are free that everyone goes there now? Because I saw a guy in a giraffe costume at my library last week. No lie.
I heart pocket edward.
and you.
bye.
Loved it. I love how you made him a weight of his own. Loved how you showed all the signs. They were all so hilarious.
so funny!
ohh pocket edward adventure's are my favorite. i really like how you started putting your blog addy on pocket edwards pictures!
and i like your "featuring this week:" addition to your blog. and can i suggest that maybe, just MAYBE... one day, you could hold a contest for Edward Adventure ideas? maybe.. lol and now i'll shut up.
Okay, I am coming out.....I LOVE your blog! And your twilight one as well. I found your blog off of my friend Summer's thinking that I knew you. which it turned out that I didn't but then I got addicted to reading your blog. You crack me up! I love your P.E. posts, they make me laugh so hard. So thanks! :) hehe
Oh Lauren. What did Blogtopia ever do before you started blogging?
We love Pocket Edward!
MOAR!
PS: I played around with your feed thing. It better work or I'll be mighty unhappier.
Hahah, absolutely amazing! :D
As per your request I'll stop lurking and start commenting, 'cuz you are freaking hilarious. Love your blog!
Lauren, BRILLIANT question.
it actually makes me think out my non-liking.
1. i think i suffer from a disease called, 'ifeveryoneelselikesthemthenidont'. its quite serious. i feel this way about many movie stars. brad pitt, zach efron... probably all the men you adore, actually! :(
2. i really dont have anything against the ACTOR... in fact, the more i watch and learn of him, the more i rather like the fellow. especially the fact that he blatantly doesn't like his co-star that plays Bella. i find him refreshingly himself in all interviews, and thus- Robert, i don't mind. but me and twilight, we aren't exactly BFF. and i know that twilight is awesome in your life, and obviously MANY others, but like- me and twilight? no. i have only read the first... saw the film... and i have good to say about them both... but i am not head over heals with the whole thing. its just not my kind of candy i guess. though i do think Stephanie is talented and i think your analysis of the movie concurs completely with mine. so when it comes to being head over heals with Edward, or Pocket Ed, i just... am not feelin' it. but i DO enjoy his adventures. i full heatedly do. so thx.
3. do i get an award for longest answer ever? cuz, i am still going.
4. i also kind of have this other issue with being so open about movie star/character crushes. i will be seriously honest with you. its just totally double standard because i feel that i can have a healthy relationship with my husband and have a crush on Harrison Ford, yet if he ever mentions his movie crush to me- let alone if he were to obsess over it to the point of buying a doll (even if its all in good fun) and take it on trips and blog about it and stuff... i would get TICKED OFF and SUPER JEALOUS and be a total brat about it. i start comparing myself to that person, analyzing why he likes her... and so then i figure, hey, if i don't want Jeff obsessing or dreaming or whatever about this "movie character"... than i suppose i better not do that myself. but i mean, its not like you and Ted have issues- your marriage is like- 20times healthier than mine... and it most likely has to do with your maturity being higher than that of mine. you and Ted... are so magically in love, and have jokes and do whatev... its so cool. but for me, well, i just could never have an Edward Doll. i just couldn't. it goes against all i believe.
5. yes, i am still talking.
6. okay. so lets say i have nothing against pocket Edward. in fact, i find it amazingly entertaining and wonderful. lets say that i check your blog incessantly because i just love that you love him and i seriously have no P.E. issues. but, at the same time, i just could never admit that i am a fan.
7. if i ever had a pocket Ed, it would bug me that others have him. like, when i go to other peoples blogs and find that they have copied you and have started doing P.E adventures? i get mad. i want only YOU to have a P.E.... it just doesn't seem like P.E. should belong to anyone else. so then i kinda label it a "Lauren thing" that just isn't meant for other people. but YOU are kind and gracious and of course don't mind sharing in the fun with others... cuz, you, darling, are nice. unlike me...
8. hm. i think i have issues.
9. i think i actually AM a closet Edward lover.
10. thank you for pointing this out to me. and PLEASE don't ban me for life... or write some horrific entry about how horrid of a blog fan i am! :(
Hello Lauren, I'm Becky Ellertson's cousin. She told me about your blogs so I came. I laughed my butt off a.k.a I really enjoyed reading your stuff. I think you are funny and real and clever. I like to think a write like I talk. It comes across better that way, at least to me. I think it's cool you got to go to Disney Land. I'm going to take my family there someday. I have to two kids. They are awesome. Peace.
this is too funny!
Ha, I wish. I'm stuck in Okla-homo.
I would have given anything...anything to have witnessed you setting up and taking the pictures for this entry. I'll bet the look on your face was classic. Were you supressing the evil grin, or just letting it show.
This was funny stuff!
Im so glad to see you got pocket edward into shape, I was not digging his double chin
I just started reading your blogs... hilarious.... no joke. im wondering why we aren't friends... oh yea.. because i live elsewhere and my personality probably wouldn't allow me to be so outgoing as to comment until now..nice to me you, lol.
p.s. awesome pocket edward
Ok, I don't know who you are, or exactly how I found your blog... but IT IS HILARIOUS. The Pocket Edward, so FUNNY! I will be bookmarking this!
-Katie
www.creolewisdom.com
oh how i love the epic fail pic best. poor short little pocket edward.
Lauren, you inspired my daughter and I to purchase our very own pocket Edward. Why just the other weekend he played piano while I played Guitar Hero!! Thanks for the laughs!!!
ps,
I'm starting a blog myself, not really Twilighty, it's mostly stories of my whacked out childhood. If you ever need to feel better about yourself feel free to check it out:
areyoueffinkiddinme.blogspot.com
:)
I really love your blog! I'm stalking you now! Not really, more like I'm following you! Keep writing the cool stuff, about twilight, and everything else! :)
I pee'd my pant's laughing that was the funniest thing Ive pretty much much ever seen, except for the movie Dumb and Dumber besides that this is it!!!!
so when are our two little eddies gonna meet?? they would have SO much fun gettin in trouble together!
Hahaha wow..this is freakin fantastic!! thanks for the good giggles I had while reading this! ciao
Can I borrow PE? I promise to take good care of him. And I'll take pics so you can see what he's up to.
BTW - it was me who tweeted about how you cannot retire PE :)
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