I once had a church leader tell me that it was ok to wear bikinis when you were with your husband somewhere, but never at any other time.
When hearing that, the only thing I could think of was...
Does modesty take a vacation?
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are given modesty guidelines. We are guided not to wear any sort of bare midriff. I don't have a problem with people that wear bare midriffs...heck, I even think that bathing suit is darling...but, knowing our guidelines, should we bend the rules because we are vacation?
What do you think?
127 awesomespice comments:
Maybe when you are with your husband in the privacy of a hotel room or your own home!
It always surprises me when people struggle with little things. Modesty is easy to me. In forty or fifty years when I am a wrinkly old woman, I am not going to look back and wish I had worn more bikinis. I will look back and be glad that I was modest though and that I set a good example of modesty for my daughter.
There is no such thing as taking a vacation from Gospel Principles.
Absolutely not, modesty does not take a vacation. But the only exception is my sister, because she looks hot in a bikini and she will never change :).
I disagree, unless it's in the privacy of your own home.
I have a SIL who doesn't wear her garments on vacation, which I just don't understand.
Modesty is something that was instilled in me at a very early age, and personally, I'm not a fan of bikinis in general. But I wouldn't judge a friend or family member for wearing them. I don't think they are the MOST appropriate clothing option however.
And there are a lot of cute one-pieces!
Haha Okay now that we got all the giggles out. Why would a young women leader say that? I really think this is crazy! I would never think modesty would take a vacation like that. When I think abou that it sounds like she intended that when you two were alone with no one around but when you were at a public beach or pool it doesn't sound right at all to bend the rules on vacation. Its like when you are on vacation on a sunday :) you know you aren't supposed to purchase anything or attend movies Ect. Ect. I really think this is craziness is what i am getting at.
the end :)
oops missed the part about "church leader I take that piece back sorry :)
I don't. I always wear a tankini that covers my stomach or a one piece. I don't think vacation's should be any different because there are still people around you that you are influencing. We're supposed to stand out and be different and not "of the world".
That said though, I think a two piece in your hot tub at home with the hubby is perfectly normal. Call me a prude, but it's how I feel. I'm sure there have been conference talks about this...
I don't adhere to any modesty guidelines, so this may be easier said than done...but:
I don't see the point in being modest in one state/country but not another.
To me, saying that it's ok to wear it "with your husband somewhere" doesn't take away any temptation other men (or women) may feel. This will happen if your husband is around, or not. Also, it kind of makes it sounds like the husband controls the wife in a creepy kind of way.
I guess I would need explaining as to why it is ok not to be modest in some places but not others, because really, this seems like a very principled thing. And besides, you are the same person ON vacation as your are OFF, right?
I'm Baptist. I think if you have the body, then wear what you want. Grace, not legalism. If it causes someone to sin, the don't do it. However, with as much skin as you see on TV, I doubt you will be causing anyone to sin.
Wear it, don't think anything about it. You're pretty and young enough. You'll look back one day and think, "I can't wear that anymore!" And you'll be disappointed you didn't.
Lauren your funny! I think that bikinis are totally fine...BUT..... I am hawaiian and I was basically born in a bikini and flip flops!
I have this idea that it would be so nice if we could take a once-a-year day off from the Word of Wisdom, and modesty standards, etc. We've even joked about it in our family. But really, even if that was allowed (ha ha!), I don't think many of us would. Because you can't change who you are. And if it's who you are to wear a bikini, than do it. But if it's not who you are, would you really feel comfortable doing so?
It's possible that my opinion is based on the fact that I'm 32 and have had 4 children, and would have absolutely NO business in a bikini. I'm not sure I would have said the same thing at your age. OR, maybe I've just gotten wiser in my old age:) Be true to yourself!
Send me to hell, I think bikinis are fine on vacation. However, if one of my young women ever asked me, I would not tell them that. So this all sounds really hypocritical, but whatev. In my mind, I'm doing it for the tan, and even if I'm wearing a tankini, you better believe that when I'm laying out I'm pulling that sucker up and pulling the straps down. So yeah, they're fine by me.
AHHH! this has always bugged me- I feel like a bikini is way inappropriate! I am so sick of married women dressing modest everyday but when they put on a swimsuit anything goes...how is that an example of modesty. I have never felt comfortable when i am around ( a certain individual that will remain nameless)when she wears a tiny bikini on family vacations. My kids always look and ask questions.Its getting old.
And most defiantly it is NOT okay to be modest in town but go out of town and anything goes... that is crazy- I feel like it is hard enough to raise daughters to be modest with the way the world is so I choose to be an example for her.
This is my own personal opinion- I am just glad i got to share it:)thanks
Eh I really see a problem with swimsuits being immodest, but skankiness is a different issue not just on vacation or anything, anytime, its not like your wearing g's anyways, and its swimming. Not like I would wear one or anything, but thats just cause I dont have the body. But ya I just dont see a problem with it,
Just like workout clothes would sometimes be immodest with g's on but thats why people dont wear them when they workout
hmm things are getting heavy on this little blog lately! anyhoots, I will leave my two cents: I think anytime the question starts...can't we bend this rule a litte?...we already have our answer. I'd like to second, third others and say modesty shouldn't take a vacation, satan sure doesn't :( And seriously, the one pieces they have now are so stinkin cute!
Yes and no. When I was in Florida I wore tank tops because it was too dang hot to wear anything else...but I didn't go skankn' it up. Just becuase you are on vacation does not mean you can be a whore, but you can stretch what you would wear a little. IMO.
I think everyone should do what they truly feel is best for them. Being modest was never hard for me until I got married. I always wore one pieces and had sleeved prom gowns. I fancy myself to be a fairly stylish girl (not as amazing as you Lauren) but even so,certain parts of my new married lady wardrobe (you know what I mean) make me feel like a frumpy 80 year old. I own several super cute one pieces that are very modest and I wear them almost always...but when my husband and I go on a cruise I will wear a sexy sleeveless cocktail dress or a tasteful bikini to the beach. Personally, I do need a day off once in a while.
Judge all you want. But I know that my trim figure won't last forever...in fact I only have a year or two left to have this body...so I like to feel sexy once in a while when I am on vacation with my husband. In a few years, I won't wear them because that isn't fair to the rest of the world! Ha! You can take it or leave it, but please don't be mean to me.
Its funny because even when I do wear a bikini I usually wear a tank top over it before and after I get in the water. But I know its there :)
My mom found saw a picture of me on our cruise with a sleeveless dress on and she was shocked...but then she thought for a moment and said..."how fun! I wish I had done that once in a while when I was young." Then she went on a cruise a little while ago and wore a sleeveless dress to dinner. She felt very empowered and said that it was fun to feel comfortable with showing her arms. I think it really depends on what makes you feel comfortable.
P.S. On Sunday I saw a lady (like a woman with kids) wearing leggings! I told her I liked her outfit!
You know, I used to think that was okay. I even wore my super cute bikini to the beach on my honeymoon! But (especially since the July Ensign issue) I've begun to realize modesty is more important to me than I thought. Haveing a little one, and one on the way, I think I want to set a better example for my kids.
I got rid of a lot of my "cleavage" shirts and I am going to try to be better! For my kids and for me.
I still think bikinis are super cute, and by all means wear them in privacy with your hubster. But I think when I wore mine to the beach it wasn't so, er, private. =)
For me, modesty doesn't take a vacay. Even when I had a body to show off I didn't wear bikinis. My friend has. She has people gawking at her (and she has a hawt bod AND she's a mother of 5 and 34 years old) which I am not comfy with. I don't like to stand out and the one piece or tankinis work for me.
I wouldn't encourage it, but I refuse to judge others for choosing to do it.
i haaaave bikinis, but I never wear them in public! ha ha I've even come close but I just can't do it!! But I am always with Mark. I stick with tankinis or one-pieces. I always feel guilty when I try to push myself to wear a bikini. But like you said yourself, "I don't have a problem with people that wear [them]." Unless they are beautiful and I think Mark might want to look! ha ha THEN I'm not so fond of them!
Icompletely agree! Modesty should never take a vacation, even if you are. Like the Young Womens theme goes: stand as a witness of god at all times and in all things and in all places. Standards should be raised, but never lowered.
I'm in the Stake YW Presidency. We had a huge YW activity back in Feb. to promote "modest is hottest" dress code in our stake. We were boycotted by one of the ward YW Presidents who teaches basically what you were told. It hurt. I will admit to wearing a sleeveless dress on a cruise AFTER my mission (you know what I mean by that), but at the same time, I feel like we're fighting a very uphill battle with these youth as it is and it certainly isn't instruction I would give now. I think it just depends on where you live. Here in the US, I think it's a little taboo. In Italy, we were thrilled when our Young Single Adults wore both pieces of their swimsuits because that's optional there. I guess that's not a very decisive answer, but that's all I've got tonight.
On my honeymoon, I forgot my swimming suit and so my only option was to swim in my regular clothes or buy a cheap two-piece at a place on the beach. I bought the two-piece, but I felt uncomfortable the entire time. I, too, am LDS and I don't think that being married makes you exempt from dressing modestly, especially if you wear "g's." I don't understand how women could justify being immodest.
Another intriguing issue. Granted, one I feel ill-equipped or suited to comment on, but I still will.
I am not LDS, which you know by now, and I'm a bikini-wearing girl. Although also very modest might I add. Boy shorts and tankinis all the way. No one needs to see that much of my body. So that said, I guess if I was LDS I would say it does seem strange to be allowed to bend those rules for a vacation with your husband. I mean, why? Because he knows your body in the biblical sense already? 'Cause by that idea, why not wear them around your gal friends who have the same parts anyway, right? So I guess I think you should always stick to modest bathing suits, husband or no husband. (And what about any poor husband-less LDS girls who might want to wear a two piece?).
Ok, enough of the hypotheticals. I guess my vote is no-rule-bending. What's your take, Lauren?
I personally don't think modesty should take a vaca. Some of the comments made me think, "hmm, well that doesn't sound so bad."
I sometimes wish I felt comfortable being immodest when I'm out with my hubby. BUT, I always feel like people are going to look at me and think "oh my gosh! shes mormon and shes wearing THAT?!" even though I know NOBODY is doing that. I just feel like I need to show my standards no matter where I am...
and then what would i tell my girls when they are wanting to be immodest? i definitely dont want them to have any opportunity to say "well you did it..."
but thats just me
I don't think it's appropriate. I've seen many LDS girls who think it's okay to wear a bikini on their honeymoons and the funny thing is they posted the picture on their blog to show pics of their honeymoon. They are wearing them in public and also showing the pictures to the public. So I'd say no no on the bikinis. Let's just keep that stuff in the boudoir :) Just my opinion.
I was just thinking about this topic again and wanted to throw something out there. Please understand this in no way meant to be a slam! I am a convert to the wonderful LDS church, and was raised in another religion. There was lots of goodness, spirituality, and church stuff in my home growing up, but the religion I was raised in is not so straightforward on modesty standards. I was taught that modesty is just as evident in the way you carry yourself as it is in your dress (which is what I try to teach my girls)! I adhere to LDS modesty standards now and don't fight too much with the temptation not to. But as a teenager, I totally wore short shorts, bikinis, etc. I made the decision to join this church as an adult and being fully aware of what I would be giving up. I wonder if some married gals are tempted to push modesty standards as adults because they felt like they couldn't as teenagers? Eventually we all have to come to the point where we are obedient because we WANT to be, not because we HAVE to be. I've never served in YW, but it seems like there is a lot of emphasis on modesty in dress, and NOT wearing certain things. I think that when you tell teenagers NOT to do something, that's the first thing they want to do. I know ladies that won't allow their young (like primary age) daughters to wear tank tops or shorts above the knee. I think that's going too far (for me. If others do that, I totally respect it).Anyway, I was just wondering what people thought about that, if you were raised in the church?
Sheesh, that was long - sorry! I'm done commenting now. :)
My opinion (and I use this as a guide for myself) is that if you have to ask yourself if something is right or wrong or you feel uncomfortable about it then the answer is usually, "no, I shouldn't do/say/wear that." I usually know the answer but pose the question to myself anyway.
I would never judge you for such a thing but maybe a boy-leg tankini would work? I'm not familiar with how much of your body that garments cover but I'd use them as your guide - if they show, you need to keep them covered. Just some Southern Baptist and older person thoughts. Stay true to your beliefs.
BTW, what does the Tedward think?
I am PASSIONATELY against this, and I wrote all I had to say on the subject here:
http://www.archiveslives.com/?p=415
Thanks for sparking some controversy.
Modesty never takes vacation.. but here's my swim suit debate question-- people judge you if you have your "middriff" showing like an inch or so in a tankini, but girls walk around all the time in a one peice that shows half their boobs.. which is worse? an inch of waist or partial boob?? I'd rather show a little stomach...
It doesn't make sense to me to pick and choose when to obey certain standards you have set for yourself, or your children. "Hey baby girl it's not modest to wear bikinis, unless we are at Lake Powell or in Mexico." What does that teach the people around us? That we believe there is room for exceptions when it comes to living gospel principles. No such thing. The end :D
well, I actually don't wear bikini's,
but I think the one that you have posted here is very cute. :)
I know that this post is in the minority.....
however I do agree with everyone else, your morals shouldn't take a vacation.
I guess I would weigh the options on what I would regret more. Wearing the bikini with less modesty or not wearing the bikini while I'm still young.
I DO believe that there is such a thing as a more modest bikini like the one you have pictured. It's not all straps and dangly things and whosits all over the place. I sound like my Gramma. Oh well. I'd do it.
First of all,that polka dotted two piece is way cute! The 2 piece suits I don't like are the string bikinis,I think they show way too much.
MHO - If someone offers you a margerita,do you say "Hey c'mon we're on vacation!"? Probably not. I don't think a vacation is an excuse to do whatever you want. If you wouldn't wear it at home,you shouldn't wear it any other time...in public anyway.
I know a woman who used to cut the sleeves off of her garments so she could wear sleeveless clothes. True story.
Those standards outlined in the For the Strength of the Youth Pamplet are there for a reason. They need to be followed by youth and adults alike. When followed, they built our spiritual character in ways we don't allways understand, but make a huge difference in how happy we are.
Integrity is defined as what you do when no one is looking. Are you truly committed? or just when you think you may be judged by others? What drives you to be modest? Love and respect for the Lord? or what others think? As far as that whole being with your busband thing -
A womans heart should be so lost in God, and that a man has to seek him to find her. Now that's sexy!
" we will stand as a witness at all times and in all places."
When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over
Couldn't have said it better myself Head Nurse!
Hey if you are going to give up your standards and values on vacation then why stop with the bathing suit - order a few Margarita's, gamble all night, and do a strip tease on the bar!! It's all in fun, you are on vacation after all and no one else will know!! NOT!!!
Maybe the bikini was FOR her husband...worn in the privacy of their own room... I have a friend who did that. They had some kind of jacuzzi in their hotel room. For that occasion, I say go for it. A bikini? Lingerie? Skinny dipping? All okay.
But out and about, keep it modest. And I completely agree about the plunging necklines some ladies wear but claim are okay because their midriff is covered.
(...hoping mike doesn't read all the comments...)
So I had never thought about getting a bikini until Mike wanted me to get one, after we were married of course. It's kinda weird for me to think that I own a bikini (even though it's hidden in the closet and not with my swim stuff). But honestly, though I've never exposed myself in public that way, I love wearing it around Mike and how sexy his looks make me feel. It's great!
But for anything else, I wear a tankini top with one of those shade swim tops underneath (dude I love the extra boobage support)and some cute board shorts. That's just me. and how I've been raised.
I will say something else though. Although my swimming tops cover my midriff, my running tops don't, and I run far more than I swim. I find the tops to be far more condusive to the sport. So here's the thing, and I guess people can call me out if it's inconsistent, but wearing a bikini around anyone else but Mike I feel embarrassingly exposed, but running for hours on canals and through the mountains in a razorback top is perfectly comfortable.
Not being raised LDS, I haven't grown up with these guidelines, however I think that if within your beliefs, you do not bare midriff, then its an all or nothing kind of thing. You know? My faith doesn't get to take a holiday and then I can run wild and do whatever I want. I can't go....well I'm on spring break, sure I'll have sex with you (I realize that's a LOT bigger than bare midriff, but you get what I'm saying)
I have to agree with what Cherie 100%
Now, if Ted owns his own Isle Lauren, and it's the two of you I'd have to say all bets off since he is your hubby and what not. haha
Oh i just remembered. When I swim laps I don't wear my perfectly modest four-piece suit. I wear a much tighter tankini that does show some midriff.
So I guess to me it might be all about dressing for the sport. When you're swimming with friends, you're not there to flaunt your body. When I'm running through the streets, I wear a tshirt, but once I hit the trails it comes off for more comfortable distance running. (ha do I admit too much?) When playing around with your hubby, that's totally the time to flaunt your body.
no I don't think you should bend your standards because then you might do it in more drastic circumstances as well. And also your pictures in the last post are awesome! Want to take my engagment pics if I ever get married?
It's all about complimenting your look :)
"What not to wear" style.
P.S. you inspired me to buy the cutest swimsuit
with your one polka dot swimsuit post.
!
wait- i should clarify! lol, when i shop i always think of the show "What not to wear" and pick things to compliment me. That's what i live by. You do what makes you look good and everyone has a different style.
:)
Okay so I am not LDS...although I use to date a guy who was, lol! I really do not see the point of not wearing two pieces. Other clothes can and should be modest but why a suit? It is for hot days...and it is more comfy on a hot beach...so why not? Although, if you are not comfortable don't do it; if you are do it! (just not like a nasty string bikini or anything!!)...also for the LDS ladies what are "g's"?
I'm a newbie to you---and you are one crazyfunny chiquita! =)
Okay--bikini thing--what's the point of having "standards" if you only abide by them in certain places? I say make a choice and stick with it; don't have a bunch of exceptions to your own rule.
I'll be back! ;-)
Absolutely not. Values don't take a vacation. We should live by our values every minute every day. If not then we'd be a hypocrite.
When it comes to LDS women deciding whether or not to wear bikinis in public places...I love this paragraph from the For Strength of Youth pamphlet, endorsed by a Prophet of God:
"Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient."
I also love this scripture:
"Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?...The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).
I don't think we should ever bend the rules just because of vacation but that is just my thoughts.
For me I look at how reveling the whole swimsuit is no matter how many pieces it is in.... I have one piece suites and a Tankini one... It covers as much or more than my one piece so I feel just fine wearing it without feeling like I'm lowering my standards. I always wore clothes that I(and my parents) felt were standard but I was still shocked after I was married by how many things were just a bit to short or reveling with my new underoos(that also made me feel a bit like an 80 year old and not at all sexy).... but I do have to say I don't have to spend all of the dough on silk and lace stuff because to my hubby if I just put on some panties and cute bra he thinks it's the best thing!lol
No way! Being a member, LDS, you never take a vacation. This goes for children too. Don't dress your kids in bikinis or sleeveless shirts. Start early and you wont have a problem with it.
I'm guessing the same leader told us that, because I distinctly remember an almost exact conversation.
I had a friend tell me that she wouldn't wear a bikini on her honeymoon, because her body is for her husband's eyes only, and even if she's dressing that way just for him, other people will be paying attention and see her body in a way that they otherwise wouldn't have.
So my opinion is in the privacy of your own home,backyard, or hotel room, knock yourself out. But in public, modesty definitely does not take a vacation.
To me this is a personal choice. I don't think wearing a bikini is going to make the difference between hell and heaven. If you are comfortable with it, wear it. I don't think people should be condemned and/or judged for such an opinion.
First, amen to Nancy Face. Thank you Ma'am.
Second, am I weird that the mentioning of "g's" & calling them that here, is bothering me??
I'm agreeing with the Mama Face too.. modesty doesn't go on vay-cay.
I don't look good in a bikini so modesty has been something that was easy for me. I don't think you can change your standards because of a VACATION or a DANCE performance or whatever. My cousin couldn't find any modest swim suits for her 3 year old girl so she ended buying a tiny little wetsuit! She loves it because she doesn't get as burned! :)
Good topic!!
No, I don't think modesty or beliefs take a vay-cay.
Most things that are instilled in us usually make the ruling choice. Most who have strong belief systems that try to bend the rules usually end up feeling uncomfortable and uneasy. Now I don't think that's how you are suppose to feel on vay-cay, call me crazy.
Those who can dismiss their belief system or modesty rules so easily more than likely never believed in them to start.
I grew up with 4 sisters and we all wore bikinis and are all active members of the church, all married in the temple and 3 of us served missions....however,it's not right to lower our standards and I was wrong. In the past 8 years of so, I realize that I need to follow or try my best to follow all of the prophets councils not just the ones I want too. Even if I am on vacation.:) I have daughters of my own now and I would never want them wearing bikinis especially because I now know from being married what goes on in a boys head when he sees a cute girl in a bikini. We tempt them enough, let's not make it harder on them.
I'm a different religion, but we also value modesty, etc. I actually think that modesty DOES take a vacation.
:)
I know that may sound bizzaro and sort of it is, but I think that when you are in some far off place where no one knows you but your husband it is ok to wear anything you want (within reason)- like more cleavage, more skin, etc. Bikinis, short shorts. For me, part of the reason I wouldn't do it in my hometown is modesty, but part of it is so I don't scandalize anybody. So when you are on vacay no one can be scandalized (since they have no expectation that you should dress a certain way, be an example, etc). And lets face it- if showing your tummy or your arms is not an everyday thing, I hardly think anyone else will be scandalized since most of the world bares more than that on a regular basis (and lots of them do it modestly).
I agree with someone's comment about how modesty is part attitude. aka- if I wear a bikini bc I want lots of male attention and I feel a little naughty, then yes it is immodest. But, if I wear a bikini bc I am going to the beach and that is my swimsuit and it looks cute (not whor-ish), then I don't think it is a problem.
I grew up with what I thought was some extreme modesty (although not compared to some of what I'm reading here) and I think instead of making me want to be modest, it made me sort of shameful and embarassed about my body.
Anyway this is uber long and I'm getting off topic- but I think that my idea for acceptable dress for everyday life gets looser on vacay. And I don't think it is a problem. *IM(not so humble)O*
wow wayyyy too long. eek! sorry girls.
it's your personal opion. If you feel good about it then it's ok. if you are having guilt the whole time then maybe it wasn't the best decsion....let your heart and mind be the judge
okay i guess i've been convinced on the bikini thing.. but what about nude beaches... are those okay?
I think one of my main problems with taking a vacation from modesty is that it would make it easier and more comfortable for someone to do it more in the future. It's always a temptation to be immodest but if you get used to it, it won't seem like a big deal. I think it would just be easier to always keep your standards high.
I'm SO surprised how many girls are saying it is OK. It's not OK. It is so sad that there are so many girls who feel they can and should wear bikinis when they are on vacation with their hubbys. Other people will see you too (unless you are on a secluded island, but I highly doubt it) It doesn't matter if you can pull off wearing one or not. It shouldn't even be a question. I will have to agree that there are plenty of one pieces that show WAY too much boobage. We just need to be smart with our decisions and not bend the rules. We can't just throw our standards out whenever we want. I love what your mom said and quoted. The prophet doesn't say things just for us to throw up in the air and use it whenever we feel like it. Your body is for your husband's eyes only and if you want to wear a bikini on your vacation what are you saying to those around you?(besides your hubby) even if you don't know who they are. He will see you in the room and that should be sufficient for him. I'm really glad you brought this topic up. I feel so sheltered, I didn't realize how many married LDS women think it is OK. (just so you know, when I use the word 'you' in my explanation I am not referring to YOU I am just using the word in general)
I don't know what "Gospel Principles" are, unless you're referring to the Bible...as in God's Holy Word. And nowhere in Scripture does it say "Women shall not wear a bikini." Like with the leggings underneath a dress issue--it all comes back to being modest. And I've seen one pieces that are a heck of a lot more baring and daring than the bikini you featured on this post.(Which is adorable--and COMPLETELY MODEST.)
Again...legalism in any religion saddens me. As I know it saddens the Lord. Someone above me mentioned "grace." I rest in it...and I've staked my eternal life on it.
p.s. I don't wear a bikini regardless--because my boobs look better in a 1 piece. Just keepin' it real. Word.
LOVE YOU!
Pretty much I won't do it. My husband seems to think it would be a fun thing, but I'm white and pasty and would never feel comfortable. I guess modesty is a lot of what you feel comfortable wearing. Part of me is against tankinis, but those are kind of like whatevs.
That "bikini" pictured is certainly modest. I don't care what religion anyone is... that is a modest swimming suit. There our 1-pc swimming suits way worse than that! I think it's about using good judgment - skimpy tops and bottoms are not so cool, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with the swimming suit pictures.. AT ALL. You would never look back and regret wearing it. Guidelines, are just that, "guidelines." Yes, temple goers wear clothes that don't show their g's, but when it comes to work-out wear, swimming suits, etc. it's pretty much your own judgment. There is simply nothing wrong with that suit... and I would feel bad for anyone who actually judged against it.
P.S. I also think people should wear what their body can handle... you'd look good in it, but someone else may not....
I love my body but you have to be a little more special than some random on the beach to see that much of mine, that's reserved for my husbands eyes only.
Absolutely not. Can your morals ever 'take a vacation'? If so I would have to say you're not as firm in your beliefs as you think you are. IF you have taken it upon yourself to follow the guide lines the church has set out concerning modesty-I think it should apply at all times. (and when I say you I mean it objectively-I'm not talking about you Lauren :))
Finding a modest swimsuit is really difficult. I'm a bigger girl, and I'm quite busty. Every year I go shopping for a suit, and every year, I can only find suits that emphasize my large bust...hardly covering it in some cases! It makes me so uncomfortable! Quite frankly, my hubby is quite fond of my bust LOL...and he doesn't mind at all if I've got a little bit of cleavage showing. However, knowing that it isn't very modest, makes me VERY uncomfortable. I got lucky last year and found one that pretty much covers my bust. YAY! :D That being said, I don't think that modesty EVER takes a vacay....but I'm not going to be the one to judge if an LDS girl wears a bikini. I do have a lot of friends who wear them.
I cannot say it any better than your mother did. You have a wise one there, Lauren!
I don't think she meant when you are on vacation. More like when you are ALONE with your husband, maybe using the two piece as a substitute for lingerie.
I have seen so many active LDS women wearing bikinis on a regular basis that for a long time I thought nothing of it- I just assumed that if so many people were doing it, it must be OK.
Then I read the July issue of the Ensign. It's obvious that our church leaders are noticing the same trend I am- that many women of our faith are stretching the boundaries of modesty. The articles in this issue reminded me that the way we dress is a reflection of our values, beliefs, and the respect we have for our bodies.
I think it's interesting how in the church we often try to push the limits of the guidelines our leaders give us, when really if we always kept Christ and all that he has done for us in our minds, things like covering our stomachs or wearing long shorts would not seem like such a burden. He has given us so much, the least we can do is try to follow His counsel. (especially when we live in a time where there are so many options for dressing modestly.)
I think modesty is definitely a personal thing, such as R-rated movies, etc. I don't wear them in public places, but I know that everyone has different opinions and I think it is worse if someone is judging someone else for wearing a bikini than the actual wearing of the bikini.
My Relief Society President (40 something year old with a rockin bod!) wears a bikini and obviously it doesn't affect the type of person she is. So, it's definitely a personal thing.
It does bug me if I'm with a bunch of couples and the girls (LDS) wear tiny bikinis. It's obvious that it probably makes the other wives uncomfortable- even if their husbands wouldn't look at anyone else (maybe I'm just insecure about my body type!:), so it makes me wish they would be a little more considerate.
I am guilty of this. Not for attention but because some are just dang cute. I don't see anything necessarily wrong with it. It is a personal thing like the comment above me. I guess it's one of those things that people take differently. Like caffeine. I had a roommate in college who wouldn't eat chocolate because it had caffeine in it...but people drink soda with caffeine. I don't know. But once I am older & have kids I will not be going around in my little bikinis. I don't want my girls to think thats ok at a young age & I definitely would want them to know how important being modest is.
I DON'T think you should put modesty aside at anytime! I think that person was in the wrong! How could he/she say that when the church teaches the exact opposite? We are taught to NEVER lower our standards, and to always keep HIGH standards!!!!
I wanted to share this with you, "Modesty in dress and manner will assist in protecting against temptation. It may be difficult to find modest clothing, but it can be found with enough effort... I do not hesitate to say that you can be attractive without being immodest. You can be refreshing and buoyant and beautiful in your dress and in your behavior. Your appeal to others will come of your personality, which is the sum of your individual characteristics. Be happy. Wear a smile. Have fun. But draw some rigid parameters, a line in the sand, as it were, beyond which you will not go." --Gordon B. Hinckley
In the end, like ALL things, it is a personal decision... free agency and all. But...Heavenly Father is not trying to confuse us with what's right and what's wrong-- and gray areas. There aren't any gray areas! I know there's an answer to this debate..and I'm sure you know where to find it (:
I'm not too worried personally about bikinis... if I wore one, everyone around me would be blinded by my white stomache, they wouldn't see the bikini anyway!!! But I think in public... no way should you bend the rules. Private, with your husband.. well that's different.
Wow! MUCHO comments today!
My husband is a swim coach on the National level. My three oldest daughters are all competetive swimmers.The girls have coached, life guarded, and taught swim lessons. Much of our lives are at the community pool! We see kids from our own stake and congregation daily in the skimpiest suits and behaving in the water how they would never behave on dry ground...with an audience, that is! Do their Mom's know what they are wearing? I think in many cases, yes. Modesty HAS to come from home. Church leaders can teach and preach, but if Mom says it's OK for the pool because "you look so cute in that suit" then phooey on standards!
Just a note to those who think they can get away with "stuff" in the water...uh...it's water! You can see right through it! My husband has been known to turn a cold blast from the hose on such merry makers!
I'm all for modesty making a real comeback as a part of our overall culture and not just for faith beliefs. I'm sick to death of seeking.....parden me please....t&a (please forgive my bluntness). I DON'T want to see anyones business. AT ALL!! Keep yourself properly covered and act like a lady.
I think that respect for God and respect for yourself and the others around you should dictate fashion. I think there should be alot more fabric worn and the world would be a better place.
Just my .02
Bikini's are cute, if you have the right body. I think that because your religion has guidelines about being modest you should follow them always. You wouldn't want other parts of your morals or guidelines to go on "vacation". Plus there are so many cute one pieces or tankinis!
I think that 2 piece swim suits are awesome, and I would love to wear one. But the way I think about them is it is just to big of a temptation. I wouldn't know what to do with all of the attention that they seem to attract. I also believe in leaving things up to the imagination, and if you are letting it all hang out there, that can't happen.
What a great question! Regardless of my personal beliefs, I do not think your religious beliefs should ever 'take a vacation;' I know we're just talking about clothes, but what about other moral standards such as monogamy & murder. Is it ok to kill someone on vacation??? I know this is a stretch but the idea of picking & choosing what religious rules you will follow is insane
The one argument that REALLY rubs me the wrong way is people saying a bikini is ok if you have the body for it! How discriminatory is that?!? Why not say, "if you have a 'hot body' then the rules don't apply to you." That makes me sick!’
And just because I can’t help throwing my .02 in, I am not LDS and I do feel you have a right to choose how to dress yourself. You should be able to radiate the love of Christ in any clothing; my God is more worried about the big stuff instead of what I’m wearing LOL
And what are 'g's'????
This is my first comment! Yay! Firstly I just want to say that I freakin love you Lauren! Your blog is so hilarious and fun!
K so about the debate:
I don't think there is an exception. When we as church members try to create exceptions, we erroneously take on the role of the one who created the rule or standard. We weren't told to be modest "when it's convienient" or "when we feel like it". It's an all or nothing commitment. We don't know all the reasons behind this standard, so it's silly to assume. We should fit ourselves to the standards, not the other way around.
PS I didn't mean for that comment to sound judgmental. This is just my personal feeling on the matter.How other people choose to live is between them and the Lord.
Hmmm...guess I have to comment because I keep thinking about this. Immediately my mind went to the articles of faith, one in particular.
11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
Now, this is my interpretation. I believe that someone feels fine in a bikini then that is there choice. As far as modesty goes let your conscience be your guide. Does this interfere with your relationship with God? Not to justify or accuse but to each there own. If you feel comfortable with it. Then so be it.
Hi "J"! *waves hi*
I am an ole wrinkled Grandmother, age 66.
I say wear what you're comfortable wearing.
Have fun while you're young little lady, lol
hugs
I agree with Nancy, Cherie and Camielle! 100%!!!
I have many issues with immodesty, and one day I will have to do a post on it. I wish people knew the effects that it had on men ( even married ones ) when women dress with less.
Imagine what would happen if everyone in the world dressed modestly? There would be less Divorce, no porn, and more happy marriages and families...
Modest ( and cute is hottest! :)
ok...it has been very interesting to read everyones views on this topic. I know that this can be a very touchy subject especially with young married girls around our age (I think we are close to the same age and so I say 'our age'.....21).
I don't think it appropriate to wear a bikini on vacation. Like some other people have mentioned, your kids might get the wrong idea about modesty. As far as getting a tan....I have never understood why you need a tan on your belly if no one is ever going to see it other than your husband and lets be honest....he should appreciate you keeping your standards as he tries to keep his.
I have a problem when people are immodest when on vacation. I also have a problem when young girls that have not yet gone to the temple use the heat (I have seen this a lot since I have moved down to the valley) or lack of shopping options as an excuse to be immodest. I feel like people do this because they do not understand the reason for modesty in the first place. It is not just to keep ourselves modest to protect our thoughts and the thoughts of those around us, but to show our level of devotion to our God.
I personally wear my g's when I exercise most of the time. I am in ballet and we have a dress code which makes it impossible to wear them. However I make sure that I change out of my dance clothes (that consist of a short sleeve leotard as opposed to a tank and a long skirt) as soon as possible. When I do my yoga, or go to the gym, I still wear them because I can. I don't have to wear short shorts or a tank top to exercise and if you have ever seen a gym episode of Seinfeld, you know people are checking you out at the gym. It does make it a little uncomfortable to work out, but fasting is not comfortable all the time and we are still asked to do that.
I think this is an issue that is very different for each person. Many things in the church are left up to our own interpretation with just some guidelines to go by. Someone brought up article faith number 11 and I think this is a case that it is talking about. So much of how we are going to be judged is going to be by what is in our heart not on the outside. However if we are wearing immodest clothes while on vacation, exercising, or otherwise and justifying it with excuses just so we can feel ok with ourselves, then that is not ok.
wow I don't think I can write a short response....sorry.
This is a sensitive subject I think. Especially in the church, because I think the debate is very split. To me it is about your attitude and its something between you and the Lord. No need to judge anyone. What feels right to one person and what feels right to another can be completely different. If you aren't wearing it in order to get negative attention I don't think that there is any harm. But thats why its a personal decision, because for if that is the attitude you shouldn't wear it. I think this is Modesty in general. Some people think tanks are ok, and some people don't. I personally don't think either party is wrong...its just what they feel is appropriate. As members of the church we are taught NOT to judge, but I think we are quick to judge...comments like..." she is a member, why i she wearing that?" My opinion is, who cares? we have agency and with it we can make the decisions that we feel are right for us. We can't decide what is right for other people. So I think I'm pretty neutral on this topic. I see both sides. And accept both sides...
Amen Nicole.
To all of those inquiring as to what "G's" are...
First and formost, "G's" are actually called garments. Since garments are extremely sacred to members of the church, I will refrain from giving a detailed explanation. I think it sufficeth to say that they are a type of clothing that we wear to serve as a reminder of the promises and commitment we have made to our Heavenly Father.
Ok, hi! Totally new to your blog and skimming previous posts.... had to get in on the debates (though I haven't read many of the other comments). So here's my take on the leggings debate from a couple weeks ago... I like leggings and think they are totally cute, BUT only if the dress/skirt they are worn under is a modest length (speaking strictly from an LDS modesty standards point of view). I am in our stake young women presidency and this is an issue at every stake dance we have to chaperone. By our standards, leggings are not an extension of the dress and are considered the same as wearing opaque tights - i.e. your skirt or dress still needs to come to your knees. Anyway, other than that I am all for them! [I'm really hoping I don't sound too old-fogey here, I am only 27!]
And as far as the bikini issue goes... I had never heard such a thing (ok to wear one if you're with your husband)! Very interesting thought/take on things. I was always just taught to wear a modest one piece. Even if you are with your husband, you are still out in public and immodest wearing a bikini.
-Jennifer
ya I too think that it's okay if your ALONE with your husband. Modest is always the cutest no matter what.
OH man... This is a hard one.. I am guilty of wearing a bikini on my honeymoon. I wanted to be a sexy as possible for my husband... he loved it. I loved it. we had a good time. But.. I havent worn one in public since. I did buy Presley a little bikini because babies in bikinis are seriously the cutest ever and I love her little pop belly in it. When she gets older she wont get a bikini. I feel like I am confessing all of my sins.HA ha. I think its a personal decision.
It's all about where your/the individual's comfort level lies.
But, in your circumstance, it seems that if you abide by the modesty rules and like doing so, than that's a universal choice - even on vacation.
Personally, I think the bikini in the post would be cuter as a one-piece, by that's just me.
Ditto what Lula said... You are young and adorable. I'm finally in town!!! WOO HOO!! When I'm settled, we have to hang.
Well... I had a 2 piece I would lay out in as a teenager- but only in the privacy of my backyard. Other than that... no, I don't think you should wear one. I don't even buy my little girls a bikini because it's still immodest whether they have boobs or not. Plus, I think it can be hard to explain to them that it WAS ok to wear it, but not now...
PS. I forgot to add that I don't care if others wear bikinis. It's just not right for me and my girls.
(I soooo wish I had a bikini body though.)
Tough one. I've had leaders say the same, or just know ones who do it.
I've never been too comfy with the idea, but I guess it's a personal choice.
I asked my hubby and he said he would rather keep me to himself. Although I also think these things are cute. can't help it!
I think if you're alone in the privacy of a hot tub, anything goes (or goes off! LOL!) with a hubby. Even bikinis.
However, I don't think I'd feel good about wearing a bikini out in public on vacation with my hubby. Maybe it's just because I wouldn't be comfortable in a bikini in general, but no, I don't feel it's o.k. in front of other people. JMHO! :)
The modesty guideline doesn't take a vacation, I think he was mistaken or misguided. I think the things you do with your husband are private clothed or unclothed. I think if you go on vacation, you need to be a representative of who you are and your religion, I have worn bikinis before, I am LDS I was wrong to do so, even if I did look okay that isn't a part of the body that needs to be seen by all. I don't want to set a bad example, they have very modest tankinis now which is what I wear now! No exposed navel!
I wasn't aware of the modesty guidelines. Do they apply only to women? (And I'm being serious. Are there similar such guidelines for men?)
Generally, I'd say that if you consider something morally wrong while at home, it's still morally wrong when you're on the road. If you don't consider it wrong at home, then it's not wrong when away.
That swim suit is SO cute...where did you find that?
I struggle with having a strong feeling toward modesty. I sorta feel like you might as well show it off while you have it. Later in life when you have stretch marks, and sag...it would be nice to look back and see your super sexy body!
I can't say that if I had a super hot body that I wouldn't wear a bikini on vacation with hubby man.
BUT I feel like this is something that I need to work on, and maybe change my ways...I am just saying that I have a weakness. And that when I see a gal in a bikini and she is ROCKING it....I sorta think it is awesome...hope you don't think less of me
I said my bikini opinion above, but, that's not really what this is about i'm thinking.
Omar totally summed it up!
haha
I don't think swimsuits are "modest" regardless, so if someone wants to wear a bikini who cares. What bugs me is when girls wear them and plaster tons of pictures of it on their blogs.
Also, that swimsuit is really cute and I want it. (But I must say, the top is WAY too small for the model?)
Omar: Yes, the men are also encouraged to be modest - although I can't think of a specific guideline offhand. If it were up to me, I'd start with "no Speedos."
If hubby and I went on a vacation far away where we didn't know anyone AND I had a bikini body, I would still wear the one-piece. Bikinis weren't OK when I was a young girl, and now that I have a man who cares about who sees my body, they're definitely not OK now.
I can't believe people cut the sleeves off their g's to wear them with sleeveless shirts. Talk about "defeating the purpose."
I try to follow the guidelines in For The Strength of Youth pamphlet--I may not be a youth, but I believe they apply to me, too.
Like you said, everyone can choose for themselves.
Okay...so this may be completely inappropriate but...I am just wondering for all of you who are LDS is it okay to be immodest if you are alone with your husband? Or if there are modesty guidelines there as well? Not to offend...just curious!!
Alex - Good question! There are absolutely no guidelines when it comes to husband and wife. If I wanted to walk around in a bikini at home, then that is cool :)
Sweet Pete!! That suit is ALMOST cute enough to rock just in your living room....(I say almost because it probably costs exactly one arm and one leg)!! By the by thanks for answering my question Busy Bee:)
ok ok ok...so all my swim suits are 2 pieces...50% bikini, 50% tankini. Now, I must say I have tried the one piece on and it makes my mid section look 2 inches long...which it practically is (I dont have a long torso)...so when they came up with tankinis I fell in love! But I still like to tan my belly (why? I dont know...when I look in the mirror that's what I like to see) So...I wear my bikinis when I go tanning (never boys around) just with my friends or sister and their own pools. And when I went on girls only vacations I of course pulled the bikini out, but if I felt there were too many nonshawnieknowingpeople around I would put a tank top over. If I am with family, boys, or in public I always where my tankini. I am sorry if that offends people, but I feel comfortable with my ways...dont judge.
I don't think your morals should ever take a vacay. No matter what religion you are, or what you believe, you should believe that wherever you are physically.
If that means, to you, that you choose to not wear a bikini, then you should not wear a bikini no matter where you are. KWIM??
wow i haven't looked at your blog in like.. a couple days and there were 3 new posts! and my opinion matters so much that i need to post a comment! (seriously, not tho) i used to wear bikini's in high school. i wish i had listened to my parents and the prophets more. i wish i wasn't so open about wearing them out in public.. now that i'm married, i don't wear them in public, however, i do wear bikini's when i go to a hot tub with my hubby in the winters. or in a back yard to get some sun everywhere. i will not wear them when kid's (especially mine) are around and can see what mommy wears. and think it's ok for them. again like the leggings, i think it's on your own discretion. if you are ok with it in private with your husband, or in your backyard, then it shouldn't matter to anyone else.
also.. i rarely, like, almost always never wear my garments when i work out! i can't stand the sweaty sticky feeling of them on my body, and i know you are supposed to treat them special, i won't go into details, but i don't feel like them being streched out the way i work out, and geting maybe sweaty stains on them... yucky.... is treating them special.. i know that wasn't part of your post, but i was reading other comments and wanted to put my 2 cents in also!
I'd love to read all these comments, but I'm sure I'll never get around to it.
Anyway, that said, I'm generally a tankini girl myself but I'm not saying I don't own or occassionally wear a bikini.
The current For Strength of Youth guideline tells young women not to wear "shirts that do not cover the stomach."
I don't think that modest takes a vacation...i think if you don't wear a bikini normally you should not wear one other places. however if you wear a bikini's all the time then go ahead and do it. personally do not wear bikini's but i think that if someone does i am not going to judge them.
Hi!
yeah, it's me again ( Molly, the one who refuses to believe RobStew exists ).
First GO LDS PPL! I'm lds 2!!
Anyways, no I do not think it should be allowed. We should raise our standards, and never lower them.
but, yes. That suit is so sweet.
Something I haven't seen brought up yet is personal testimony. If you have a testimony about the importance of modesty, does it come from other people? Or, is it between you and the Lord? If you have a testimony of the importance of modesty and you wouldn't typically wear a bikini in public because of it, why wear one in public on vacation? (Or sleeveless shirts or bare-shouldered dresses.)
If you don't wear one at home but wear one on vacation, you're saying that you only care about your principles when someone you know might see you. The Lord sees you wherever you are. And that is a discussion someone would have to have with themselves about integrity.
Of course, if you don't have said testimony and wear immodest clothing in public regardless of where you are, this comment doesn't apply. :)
i wear bikini's =)
I was wondering if you ever bought that srsly cute black and white swimsuit you said was over priced.. [not the bikini] I had been considering purchasing it for quite a long time now and since i live at the beach.. and i like to "swim" in the ocean ive gotta have a good swimsuit that covers my fat rolls and still looks cute haha! So I bought it anyway.. only a little cheaper than modcloth though.. but yeahhh i've NEVER felt comfortable wearing a bikini just yesterday i was at the beach and some big ground of skimpy bikini wearing teeny chicks were running around in front of me and i was like uhhhh its partially foggy.. 64 degrees.. and... that cloth wouldnt ever dream of covering any part of my body so ew. but yeah dont mean to hate on them thats just how i felt. anyway... one thing that really bugs me though is how some people think its okay to go to church wearing halters and tube tops.. ?!
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