I love
ted...but he is crazy.
let me tell you a little story...
So...I will admit it...
I'm pretty much a lazy butt when it comes to filling up water bottles.
I used to not have an excuse for this behavior, so I would just bat my eyelashes, and feed ted some food, and he would forgive me for my misdeeds.
Lately, there has been whisperings that when you refill waterbottles, you will get cancer. I think that is a crock of poop, but hey! PERFECT excuse for not re-filling them bottles. "But The Tedward! If I refill the bottles, I will contract cancer and die..and it will be your fault!"
So anyway...that is the premise for the story.
Lauren doesn't fill water bottles.
She just drinks the water.
So, get this...
Earlier this week, I was straight up about to die from deydration.
Pretty much, if I took the energy to walk to the cupboard, and pour myself a glass of water, I would have very literally died. If I hadn't died from the dehydration, I would have died from the impact of my head hitting the hard floor when I passed out from sheer exhaustion.
Luckily, I saw a water bottle on the ledge, with about two gulps-worth of precious water in it.
Knowing it was Ted's water, but not caring, I greedily grabbed the bottle and gulped the water down. Why did the water taste like toothpaste?
Oh don't you worry...Ted had spit out his gum into the water bottle.
And don't you worry...the gum had slurped its way into my mouth.
Umm...hi. That is the sick-to-the-nast.
I pretty much yelled "Ughhhhh!" and dry heaved, I was so sicked out.
But I got over it.
FAST FORWARD to this evening.
"Ted, I don't know what to blog about"...
"How about Malt-O-Meal cereals?"...
"Ted, that is lamespice. I am thirsty. Get me water"...
{gets me water}
I take a huge drink.
Hmm...strange....tastes like toothpa...WAIT A MINUTE.
{looks at bottle}
"TED! Why is the gum still in here?!"
{yells.dry heaves.yells SICKNAST.}
"Haha. Oh. At least you have something to blog about."
the end.
71 awesomespice comments:
First!!! :p
hahaha sweet. isn't it sad that I got satisfaction out of that? I really need a life.
So...I'm pretty much disgusted that you drank gum water TWICE! eww!!! Guess you'll have to start checking the water bottles now. irritating....
ROFL!
I literally popped up your bloggy and went to refill my drink bottle while your page loaded.
That is pretty gross.
At least get Ted to put it in a glass of warm water, if it is available. It keeps it's texture and flavour! LOL
xoxox
That's disgusting. I would have vomited. Blech.
There are no. words.
Just major dittos to your outcry of SICKNAST. He is lucky that you love him. ;
LOL that is gross and funny!! I love your blog. we need to hang out since we live so dang close
YUCK! Twice? Really? He needs to find a better place to keep his gum & not give you toothpaste already been chewed gum flavored water. :) I'm gagging just thinking about that! But hey, it DID give you something to blog about!
hahaah thats funny! I have a problem with water bottles too.. Trent alwasy gets mad at me because I always have atleast 5 water bottles laying around that are less than half way full.. But I do it for the reason that I am too lazy to walk myself to the fridge to get a new one.. I like to have a water bottle at every place in the house so that if Im thirsty... there it is.. I also put water bottles in the fridge that are almost empty.. Trent hates it, but sometimes I just need one gulp to satisfy me. Haha Im glad we both have issues with water bottles.
HAHAHAHA. lauren. that is all.
I thought you were going to say it was toothpaste flavored because he into it and that would have been sick to the nastiest.
But come on you two never swapped gum before?
oooo SICK. :o\ blaaaaaahaaaaa (yes! blaahaaa). Does he like the minty water? eEEEEeeewww....
Why does he do this?!?!
EWWW!!!
mm ABC is pretty good.
hahah especially fromt he one you love..
:)
Jk. thats sick-to the nast. for sure.
oh by the way- i thought it was only with you left your water bottles in the car, or in the heat??
EWWWW....Once was bad enough but to do it twice..yuck.
You better watch your water bottles girl.
Wow. That is wrong wrong wrong. Wrong.
Eww, that is kind of nast, oh wait, I have kids. Once you have kids not too awfully much seems gross, as sad as that sounds. At any rate, it was so wrong to use the "A.B.C" gum bottle!
is this Ted's way of convincing you to be unlazy about getting water? *shudders* that is just... eeeeuww. yick. yes. i am still attempting not to bring up my hot dog. EEEUUW!
Sick and wrong!!! OK, so we know two things...Lauren doesn't fill water bottles and Ted doesn't use trash cans. What can we learn from this?
Ted needs to always have at least two CLEAN water bottles at his side and Lauren must keep a little trash can with her at all times for Ted to spit into. Might work...?
I'm the water bottle Nazi around here. Everyone uses them and they expect me to wash and refill them! I have found a sink full of those things many times! Ooops! Sorry! Marianne now RECYCLES water bottles! You don't wash it, you lose it!
Oh that Ted and his shenanigans!
I quote Mama Face when I reiterate, "Ewwwww!"
Amen.I
As mentioned before--ewwww!!!!!!!
Firstly, Ewwww with the gum hahaha
Secondly, that Tedward is a hoot
i just dry heaved
wow.
funky tasting water is not. cool. ever.
i'm sorry you've been experiencing it rather frequently.
[i never refill water bottles. and, i also think water bottles giving you cancer is a big crock.]
Ha ha ha! That is funny...but gross too! So sorry that you swallowed chewed up gum from someone else (even if it was your husband that is still sicknast!)
Swapping ABC gum with your lover is one thing.. but drinking water that gum has been sitting in..
I feel sick.
I don't refill either....
Ohhh my gooodness! I just laughed and threw up a little. Yuck!
But soo funny!
Dang Tedward. The used gum goes in the garbage!!
"Umm...hi. That is the sick-to-the-nast."
Haha Lauren, you make me laugh so much! I just got out of a 2-hour exam and you have cheered me up :D
Thanks!! Maybe you should get some of your own water next time, just to be safe :D xx
So yucky and hilarious all at once!
Welcome to marital bliss!
Oh n o! hehe
See sometimes our men are really just doing these annoyng things on purpose to give us something to write about!
So why did he do it? Accident?
Um that is sicknast, I am so disgusted by mouth bacteria. I don't know about the cancerous refill water bottles. So, I have a question. Is Lauren pregnant, from Facebook to here to Laurensbite, something is so up!
That is so funny and sicknast and awesome! Go Ted! At least he knows that you like to blog about him hahahahaha ;)
Thats so siiiick!!
PS in you look sooo pretty in that picture and so much like ginnifer goodwin in he'sjust not that into you, i dont know why you just do
I am in no way pregnant. Goodness.
Wow, that's super sick. Nothing like ABC gum, straight out of a water bottle :) At least it was your honey's
I don't know what's funnier. Ted leaving gum in his water and you gagging on it TWICE, or people thinking you're pregnant :) haha
Ewww! That is seriously gross, I would've reacted the same way. Although, I guess of all the things that could be floating in your water gum isn't too bad.
YUCK!!!! Oh jeez. Oh jeez, oh jeez. You know that word you coined, Larkin (lol), the one that's all over the interwebs now? I think it's ... sicknast? Yeah, pretty much.
So what are you going to do to get back at the Tedward? Although after seeing that pic of him with a ginormous spider on his face on your twiblog shows me that this is a man who is clearly afraid of nothing. But still, you must revenge yourself.
that is AWFUL! I think I would have died if that happened to me TWICE!! You are a brave brave soul
That's pretty funny. Although, if my hubby did that, I would have kicked his a**. LOL
That has to be your funniest blog post ever!! I am dying of laughter!! Thanks!! :)
HAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! Sometimes yours and Ted's relationship reminds me of mine and Dano's. Men can be so retarded i swear...but i love them still!
Yummay...but not really.
I'm kind of worried about what he will do the next time you say that you don't have anything to blog about. ;)
That is Awesomely disgusting and something that I would TOTALLY do! I love it!
Hmmm. I think the funniest part of this post to me was when he responded, "How about Malt-O-Meal cereals?" when you said you had nothing to blog about. Guys are so funny. Way cute pic of you guys! You both look so happy = )
he's lucky that you only dry heaved. i would've puked in his lap.
but, i have a gum thing...totally freaks me out. my kids love to watch me squirm when will farrell eats the gum off the subway banister in "elf". eeew.
um, ewe!
oh well, all for the blog.
LOL! Well, at least he has a sense of humor, even if it's at your expense. Just hold on until you have kids. I've found that then the guy uses his sense of humor on the kids instead and you can just standby and laugh. :)
hahaha this is hilarious. you belong in our family is you have a gag reflex problem...let me tell ya.
That is a great picture of the two of you! Funny way to get something to blog about : )
Hi there! Just dropping by from 20sb. Have a great night!
I am looking for a diagnosis to match Tedward's behavior. That is some crazy behavior.
I heard some things about water bottles giving people cancer too. I don't refill them usually but lately I have.
Sick about the gum but at least it was Ted's gum. You can find comfort in that.
So Lauren...I was home from work today because I'm sick with the nastiest cold ever to grace this earth. And I did something completely stalkerish and I read your ENTIRE blog. Yes, I started from the very beginning and I read the ENTIRE thing.
I found it via Lauren's Bite (which is so completely hilarious and I love it) and I am now going to consider myself a huge fan of yours. Yay for you having fans across the other side of the world!
Keep up the awesome work! Oh, and I need tips on how to morph my relationship into one like yours. You and Tedward are the cutest.
Ok, so I've rambled for long enough now and you're prob going to think I'm completely scary. I'm not, but I won't judge if you think I am. Promise.
:D
Gum-water, that's gross!
But why does Ted put gum in water bottles?? Never heard that before...
Ha Ha!!! That was hilarious! Yuck though! Drinking someone elses gum!!! Still had to laugh! Thanks!
ha ha that is an awesome story... i am a guilty water bottle fill with anything person. When the bottle is left in the car (patially full or empty) I will put trash, gum, candy, etc into it :) ha ha luckily no one has drank out of it after!!
This is one of the best stories ever.
The moral? When life gives you a used water bottle, make sick-to- the-nast minty gum water.
I think I will go make some now.
"Haha. Oh. At least you have something to blog about."
Funny husband man of yours. This story is so gross. What is wrong with boys? My husband always takes out his gum and sticks it to our windowsill (sp?) before he goes to bed. I'm gagging just thinking about it.
That's so thoughtful of Ted to give you something to blog about... HA!
Come see my new blog look!! I'm having a giveaway that you or your friends will dig!! :)
haha what a funny story! i agree though that would be GrOsS. I like how Ted's first suggestions was for you to blog about malt-o-meal cereals haha.
OMG!! crazyness!! sorry for the unfortunate event!! maybe next post we can hear about those malt o meal cereals im totally hooked on because they taste semi-ish better and are cheaper than the real deal.. :) and yes i have it everyday almost. . . . . .
double sick nast. No more drinking out of water bottles.
love your new headbands.
When I first started reading I thought the minty taste was that he had brushed his teeth while driving and used the water to "rinse" with. SIIIICK! So as gross as the gum is, I was relieved at the same time.
And you look adorable in that photo!
"Hey dum dum...want gum gum."
ok eww. that is just wrong! i would die!
Post a Comment