an epic tale.

Yes.
Disneyland was fantastic.
No.
I didn't only take pictures of Pocket Edward on the trip.
Yes.
An awesome post is to come.
No.
I didn't really miss any of you, while I was gone.
Yes.
That was a bit harsh....but true.
No.
We didn't really get any sleep on Tuesday.
Yes.
We did actually go to Disneyland ALL day, then drove home ALL night, and got up early for work the next day.
No.
I am not kidding.
Yes.
You can feel bad for me. It's ok. I won't mind. I encourage it.
No.
I didn't come home and immediately unpack.
Yes.
It was a pain in the butt to find the crap I needed for getting ready for work.
No.
I couldn't find my toiletry bag. Apparently Ted had moved it and forgo ten to tell me where it was before he left for work.
Yes.
I was running late, and had to pee really bad, but didn't have time for a pee-break. I couldn't find my toiletry bag!
No.
I couldn't call Ted to ask him where it was; he foolishly left his phone at home.
Yes.
I was pissed.
No.
I didn't say a swear word.
Yes.
I finally found my toiletry bag.
No.
It wasn't in my suitcase.
Yes.
Ted had moved it to a weird spot: the inside of the cooler. What the?
No.
I still hadn't taken a pee break...and I was doing my "I-have-to-pee-like-a-mother" dance.
Yes.
I only had 5 minutes to get ready. So, in a hurry I plugged in my straightener and yanked off my pants, throwing myself onto the toilet in one quick movement.
No.
The seat wasn't the only thing up...BOTH LIDS WERE UP.
Yes.
My entire butt fell into the toilet.
No.
I am not lying.
Yes.
I FREAKIN FELL IN THE TOILET. My butt. In the toilet. Soaked. Splash. Boom. Bam. In.THE.FREAKIN.TOILET. for serious. no lie. scout's honor. cross my heart. don't hope to die.
No.
I still made it on time to work.

Pocket Edward goes to Disneyland!

1. The Outfit.

I made sure to wear an outfit that had suitable pockets, for obvious reasons.
Pocket Edward bid farewell to good old Arizona before we embarked on our Adventure to Cali...

2. Safety First.
Yes, I know he is plastic.
Quiet, you!

3. Scenic Views.
Pocket Edward enjoyed the views of Bella's home state.
However, he was quite disturbed to hear that normal Arizonans don't carry around pet cactus in a little terra-cotta pot for kicks and giggles, like his home-girl Bella did in the movie.

4. Cabin Fever.
Pocket Edward couldn't contain his excitement anymore.
The anticipation gave him a brain fart...
obviously...

5. The Run.
To release the brain fart of excitement, I threw him out the window so
that he could take a jog next to my car window.
Apparently he can run just as fast as Book Edward!

6. Lunch Time.
Pocket Edward is such a doll. (bahaha)
He made me a sandwich.
Then rubbed my feet.
And tucked me in for a nap.
I don't care if his efforts were entirely to make my husband jealous.
Because my husband would never admit to being jealous of a 5 inch plastic thing.

7. Bonding Time.
When we got to the hotel, my husband decided to watch LOST.
Since Ted gets "in the zone" when he watches, he didn't notice Wee Edward snuggle up to him.
Awww....how cute.
Ted made a little friend...Isn't that Pwehsssshious?
Suckah! (heehee)

8. Disneyland!
Pocket Edward ducked his head a bit because he was afraid of the paparazzi...
See, one of them even posed with him.
What an epic picture.
Hi mom! Your big poofy hair is famous!
PS...the brunette standing next to Pocket Edward looks like she about peed her pants.
I would....not.

9. Aint no thang.
Unfortunately he didn't have the ability enough time to sign autographs.
Pocket Edward is too cool for that.

10. Wee Tippy Toes.
The men-folk in my family proclaimed Edward a "major pansy" after we found him standing on his tippy toes in hopes of retrieving the sword in the stone.
Pocket Edward, silence them.
And then never stand on your tippy toes again.
kthanxbai.

11. "You saved our lives...we are eternally grateful!"
Edward is NOT amused.

12. Snack Time.
After watching me gnaw on churros all day, Edward got a bit hungry...

"Here, ducky ducky ducky...."

Attack!
OM NOM NOM NOM!
(PICTURE REMOVED FOR GRAPHIC NATURE)

happy birthday you filthy animal....

Today is a special today.
Not special like Saturday...because we all know, "Saturday is the day we get ready for Sunday..." Yeah yeah yeah...save it.
Today is special because we commemorate the beginning of awesomeness on this earth.
It is Mama Face's birthday!

As most of you know, the Mama Face is a rockstar around these parts...
She gets mentioned alot not only because I am her spawn...
She is pretty freakin' cool
Even though she reminds me not to say freakin'.
freakin.freakin.freakin.
Why is she called Mama "Face"? Well, that is the last name we use on the internets.
Can you see why?

We have made faces in pictures since the beginning of "Face" family time.
No, it is not just a feature for the blog.
Sorry if you felt important for a second.
I still think you are important anyway...
Just sayin'

I think my mom is pretty cool because she birthed a Wookie.

I also think she is cool because she is hairstylist...which means free hair cuts and colors :)
It is surprising we trust her with our hair when she makes evil faces like the one above...

My mom is bomb because she dances with the raw turkey every Thanksgiving.
Straight up DANCES with it.
Oh man, that Mama Face is out of control.

I love this wedding photo because it is sooooo a depiction of our relationship...
My mom is cool because she is always helping me.
And she has my back.
Which is cool
Because I dunno if I have her back.
That would be a big commitment.
And gangstas are kinda hard core.
OK...fine...I got your back mom.

My mom is cool because she is stubborn to the hard core max.
At the lame-spice Breaking Dawn party there were the most embarrassing "games" ever.
One of which was arm wrestling to see who was strong like Emmett. gag.
Anyway, my mom was so hard core and wouldn't give up forever.
She is a champ.
Except...a champ in a not-winning-the-wrestling-match-type-of-champ.

My mom is cool because she takes CC and I out to dinners.
And we have fun :)

My mom is cool because she is Team Edward.
And totally into it.

Shut.up.
She is playing the kazoo.
Which rhymes with Cailoo...
Have any of you seen that horrible show?
I haaaaate it.
But I love my mom.
And kazoos.
Just not Cailoo.

My mom is beautiful.

My mom is cool because she takes the most awesome hideous-face pictures EVER!

And she looks way cute in glasses....

And we make the same funny face.
Except my jaw goes the opposite direction.

My mom is cool because she is worshipping the Costa Vida salad in this picture.
That is a winner of awesome points in my book of awesome points.

My mom is obsessed with Poppycock.
Someone should send her some.
She would eat the whole bag in a sitting.
And then mourn that there was no more to eat.
Poor thing.

Oh mama...you are insane.

I love my mom.
She is my best friend.
I miss her everyday, and am always glad to have talks with her on the phone.
She is the most genuinely nice person you will ever come in contact with.
She is a great example.
A wonderful mother-in-law to Ted and Sierra.
So beautiful.
Extremely talented in everything she does.
I hope to be like her someday.
Happy Birthday Mama!

Go here to wish her a happy birthday.
Or I will beat you up!
kthanxbai!

what's Lauren happy about?

This is like the 739th version of "What is Lauren happy about?" Don't be hatin'...

1. I love my new friends for my cake stands!
My dear friend, Niki found an amazing candle holder at D.I. and painted it black for me, then picked out that adorable monogrammed candle to sit on top. Niki, I absolutely love it! Thank you sooooo much, it looks perfect!
2. Playin' around with my camera's features...
The roses Ted sent to me were perfect...not one flaw, because he is awesome like that. So, I took my cheap-knock-off Chanel earrings that turn my ears green, and made them look pretty :)

3. Ted is a nerd.
And doesn't like to be bothered while playing computer games.
Which is fine by me.
I will just blog.
But srsly, look at that face.

4. Yeah, so Cheesecake Factory take out boxes are lamespice.
But it's ok..the food was still good and un-plastic-y.
kthanxbye.

5. Check out that cute polka dot pillow...

The Mama Face made them for me for a bday present, and they look amazing on the sofa!

...but just as pretty on the bed! Thanks, mama!

6. On Friday night, I decided to have a picnic on the
living room floor...
I made gourmet pizzas for Ted and I, and they were freakin fantastic awesomeness!

7. The best part was the dessert...
I filled monogrammed mugs from Anthropologie with juicy strawberries...

and then we dipped biscotti and berries in dark chocolate...and we made a mess, and laughed a whole lot. It was ridiculous...

...see? RIDICULOUS.
worst.picture.ever!

8. My brand new Juicy Couture bag...
Each of my grandparents sent me birthday money, so I bought this little number for a not little price. But it was totally worth it...

...check out the cute keychain!

9. Happy Valentine's Day cookie package from Carrot :)
Carrot Jello has one of the funniest blogs ever. I love her. And I am honored to be her friend. Also, she is the only person that makes sugar cookies that I actually love. They were amazing!

10. I GOT AN "I can has Catz?" SHIRT!
My blogging BFF, Ana Cristina sent me this amazing shirt! I am not gonna lie, I wore it at least 3 different times this past weekend. I even ordered a vegetarian style burrito while wearing a hamburger on my chest. It was awesome.

11. Ana out did herself and got me a Twilight necklace too!
Ana, hello! What the?! You totally spoiled me! I loooove it! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

12. poppin' it like it's hott!
Ted and I are freakin' awesome. We totally bust it out, all the time.
Check it.

13. Ty and Sierra own a gnome.
And it is the cutest little guy of my life.

14. Another Lauren creation, get's 2 thumbs up.
Did I tell you I am trying out pescetarianism? What the heck is that, you ask? It's where fish is the only "meat" I will eat. It's awesome. Anyway, I made salmon tacos with mango and tomato salsa with cilantro, avocado and grilled portobello. They rocked.

15. My cute BFF Lindsay, is about to have baby Navy!
I am so excited! I told Lindsay I am practically going to be Navy's aunt...so this is like the most exciting thing ever. Lindsay looked so beautiful at her shower tonight :)

16. This is the funniest video ever.
Ok, so when I am doing my hair, I dance....to no music. Only to the music in my head. Well, aparently Ted filmed me shaking my butt...and I freaked out when I realized he was filming. Enjoy.