Lauren's Mail Bag...

Dear Lifeguard-whose-paperwork-I-enter-into-the-computer,

Umm...hi. "Stumakch" is not a word. However, "Stomach" is a word. ALSO, please don't write, "a litle bee stung the cute little boy in the tum-tum"...it's a tad-bit unprofessional. I'm just sayin'...

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Dear person-that-told-Robert-Pattinson-to-wax-and-work-out,

Ah...so you got me emails, I see....

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Dear person-that-leaked-this-and-may-get-fired,

I love you for that video. Maybe you can tell the person I emailed about Rob working out, that Kristen needs a less-manly voice. It would be better if you emailed...I think they are sick of me.

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Dear toilet,

Please flush all the way. I hate surprises when I open the lid. Kthanxbye.

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Dear Lauren,

Please buy hair spray...and when I say "Lauren"...I totally mean, "Mama Face". Mom, I need hairspray. My hair looks like a regurgitated possom. Kthanxbye.

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Dear Ted-my-husband,

Thank you for finally understanding that washing the dishes includes actually putting the dishes away. I think I may have seen the heavens open up yesterday.

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Dear Jay-the-Leno,

I miss your chin already. I may or may not have cried when you said you only had one more show, last night.

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Dear Utah readers,

I will be in town on August 22-23rd. And Ann Marie is going to organize a BBQ so I can meet all of you. Who is in? Please, at least 2 people say you are in...or I will cry.

brain picker-outer

So, you all seem to know a lot about me...

Like, that I love Costa Vida...

I sometimes find pens in the bathroom at work, and I keep them...

I drop my glasses in the toilet, and still wear them...

I am a design major...

I like Ted, a yitta-bit...

Jay-Kay...I love him a lotta-bit....

You know that this was my fav bday gift of 2009...or of all times: No lie.

I read it like a novel.

"Professor Happy Cat" is known as "Senor Happy Cat" in my house...

Because, you know...we live in AZ...and I am sorta bilingual....

I think I know 5...NO...6 words in spanish.

I am legit, man.

Anywho, what I am getting at is,

You know stuff.

But not a lot of stuff about me.

So, ask me anything you want...

And I will answer ANYTHING you want.

Yay! It's a party in the comment box!

Except, this party isn't serving Chicken Salad sandwiches and brownies.

(I wish it was)

You will have to pretend.

Ready, Set GO!

weekend update!

This weekend was the bomb dot com.

But I exhausted to the maximus.

So I will leave you with a sneak peek at the awesomeness!

1. Saturday after noon I met with my BFF Lindsay Loo and baby Navy!

I am pretty sure Lindsay is the hottest mommy to ever walk the planet.

And Navy is definitely the cutest baby I have ever seen. I love her :)

2. I am not really a champ at getting us all in the picture.

But I am a champ at eating things. Srsly. I am.

We enjoyed delicious Costa Vida salads. I ate the vegetarian one, and let me say...it tastes THE same as one with meat in it. I dare everyone to try it...plus it is cheaper! :)

Oh! As we were leaving Costa Vida, guess who was driving up? None other than "Moon"! It was amazing. We didn't really chat because I thought we would be hanging out on Sunday night...little did I know, I would get a migraine that day and not be able to see her :( I am sad.

3. Ted and I went to a concert, and it was "teh awesome"!
Want to know what was NOT "teh awesome"? Our dinner. We went to a place at Tempe Market Place called "Teriyaki Experience" and let me just say...it sure was an experience. A crappy-poopy-caca experience! I was all, "duuuude, this is sicknast." And Ted was all, "Duuude...I know". And I was like, "Duude, let's ace this place." And so we did. And we grabbed a slice of pizza at "Slices" and washed that sicknast "imposter teriyaki" away. It was awesome.

4. My name is Lauren, and I sport a fedora.
Yep. sure do.

5. Umm. Hi. I am in love with Paramore and Haley Williams

I went to see Paramore, not No Doubt. And let me tell ya...they delivered. I was in awe of their awesomeness.

I am so nice I recorded part of it for you...
If you listen carefully, you may or may not hear me singing along...

don't judge.

PS...my next post will be awesome. just sayin'...

Lauren's Mail Bag...

Dear Weekend,

You are going to be amazing. Here is what you have in store for me and The Tedward:

Tonight
1.make chicken honey-lime enchiladas for the "face family"...and one vegetarian one for myself in the casserole :)
2. hopefully go and see terminator:salvation. ummm...hi christian bale, how you doin'?
3. most def snuggles before sleep with the tedward. hopefully we can crack jokes like we did last night. you know how it is...

Tomorrow
1.help ty and cc move into their new place in the lovely 20th ward {jealous!}
2. assemble some freakin' sweet 1920's-inspired headbands with fetching materials i picked up from the fabric mecca {aka...joann's}
3. meet lindsay loo and baby navy and HOPEFULLY my twin jen for lunch at costa-the-best-food-in-the-world-vida.
4. get cute-ified and make sure ted has showered and head off to...
5. the no doubt/PARAMORE concert! and hope we don't get rained on...because that would be lamespice.
6. top the night off with some Holy Golden Spoon

Sunday
1. feed myself with frosted mini spooners before heading off to church to be...
2. spiritually fed. and then feed my young women with knowledge when i teach the lesson :) oh crap! I still need to prepare!
3. take a glorious nap
4. watch Twilight and make fun of it, with my friend "Moon" who is visiting! {she is so cool, she has a fake name. And I am so cool because I know what her real name is.}
5. hopefully snuggles with ted.

Monday
1. not go to work!
2. need ideas on what to do...hopefully something fab!

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Dear High School Graduation Time,

You make me nostalgic. You remind me of the time when I went to Ted's graduation because I loved him and stuff. And the time I apparently sweat a waterfall in my armpits. Sicknast.

And of the time I graduated and zach face was like a little man child. I can't tell if he is pissed or smiling...

Anyway...I feel old.

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Dear Mama Face and CC {sierra},

Thanks for being my favorite women in the entire world. Not many girls are lucky enough to have their two bestest friends in their family. Love you!

By the way...next time we go to lunch, let me in on the "look cute" memo..because I obviously missed it.

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Dear boob tumor,

I had surgery nearly a year ago to get rid of you. Please never come back...Because I never want to witness Ted passed out in a wheel chair because of my IV, again. When I think about it...maybe it was a good thing he was passed out...

I may or may not have been checkin' out my anesthesiologist...

kidding!...sorta.

hey, i wasn't married yet.

and i was feeling tipsy from the IV.

aint no thang...

stuff i {can} do...

I have been feeling incredibly insignificant lately...
Wishing I could be a better wife...
Wishing I could be as creative as other girls...
Wishing I had more time in the day to develop my abilities...
Just...wanting to be someone I'm not.

One of my top "Lauren bloggy rules" is to stay away from the computer when I am feeling down...and I usually do.
But today, I missed my blog...and thought I would grace you with my presence, in hopes that you missed me too. {crosses fingers!}
To make myself feel better, I will list some things I can do...

1. I can make a homemade carrot cake...
My mom loves carrot cake, so with the help of Malia's recipe, I ventured into my first homemade cake baking experience...and it turned out perfect.

2. I can put together an outfit...
Sometimes I don't want to be too dressed up for date night, so I pair a tee with a tailored vest and voila! Perfect date night outfit!

3. I can make people laugh...
Here I am in my horrible "Lady at the Well" costume. I could have posed all dignified...but dude, do you see this get-up? It is sicknast and horrifying.

4. I can make fantastic Easter baskets for my Ted...
Yes...that is a Demi Lovato CD.
And Milo and Otis. {best.movie.ever}

5. I can sorta sew...
I took some old pants, cut the legs out, and added fabric and tulle...and of course some pom-pom fringe. To top it off, I took some sand paper and sanded the jeans to ruff them up in spots :)

6. I can style my hair, aight...
I really love to experiment with my tresses. I love wearing my hair up. Ted said it shows off my long neck. Thanks Ted :)

7. I can make friends all around the world...
And they send me things :) Thank you Julie for the amazing cards you made! I love them!

lauren's mail bag.

Dear girl-that-had-her-mom-write-my-mom-an-anonymous-letter-in-the-mail,

I am assuming you know how old I am, since you stalk my facebook page. If you have a problem with me calling a lame guy "lamespice", then PLEASE have your MOM send ME the anonymous-hate-filled letter to my address, instead of YOUR MOM sending the letter to MY MOM in hopes that she will give me a good-old-fashioned talking to. Maybe if we are lucky, my mom's good-old-fashioned "talking to" will come with a "tsk tsk" and a beating on the bum with the back of a wooden spoon. BTW...you obviously have no idea who I am if you think me and Ted's marriage on the rocks. Duuuuuuuuuude, I mean, srsly.


Dear Subway-that-I-go-to-once-a-week-by-work,


Today marks the day when you not only greeted me by first name when I walked in the door, you also started preparing my sandwich without needing instruction. I ♥ you.

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Dear The Tedward,

Thank you for telling me "not to panic" last night when you told me you spotted a cockroach on the counter. Thank you also for still loving me, after I ignored to your obvious plea for me "not to panic". Thank you for picking the lock to our bedroom door, and finding me hidden under the bed crying. Thank you for reassuring me that you killed the thing. Thank you for not laughing in front of me, but waiting to laugh in private...even though that private spot {the bathroom} isn't so private in an apartment. I heard you laughing...but I will pretend I didn't.

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Dear Men's Health Magazine,

I read you at lunch the other day. Not because I wanted to be educated on men's health...but because you featured a man of particular interest on your cover. Thank you. Your kindness is much appreciated.

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Dear Ty,

Not even 24 hours after you said I would feature Chris Pine on my blog, and I completely disagreed and promised that I wouldn't...I did. So shoot me.

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Dear delicious carrot cake that I made from scratch,

Why did I give you all away? *facepalm!*

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Dear Blog,

You have remained politics-free since the beginning of time...and I like you that way. I don't feel like this is an appropriate place to share my opinions, when I am being goofy all the time. This blog is a place for all of us to be friends. To put aside our differences and unite in something that we all have in common...laughter. I wanted to live by that rule, and to never bring politics here, however, I have felt strongly to hop on top my soap box...

Many do not agree with what Miss California said about supporting marriage between a man and a woman. But I do. I support what she said full heartily. I feel sad that Miss California is getting such negative media attention. She has an opinion, so what? Why must this be front page news? I am completely for people having opposing opinions. It is what makes this country great.

That's all I have to say about that.

*Hops off soap box and goes back to no-politics-policy*

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Dear husband,

Do you exist? Did we actually get married, or did I imagine that? I haven't seen you for the last two weeks. I did see a mop of curly brown hair poking out behind a laptop for hours on end behind piles of school work...was that you? Well, here I am saying hi. And I miss you.

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Dear readers,

Do you like my "what's lauren happy about?" posts? Because I think I am going to do one. Don't hate.

lamespice=lame=not cool.

I was looking at my sitemeter the other night and noticed something quite shocking. My readership has grown 7x the amount since last May. Which means a lot of you aren't commenting. Which is cool...if you want to be lamespice. FYI...lamespice=lame=not cool. Just sayin'...

I then realized, it's probably because I haven't properly introduced myself to you! How rude of me! Please forgive me for my lamespice manners. My mother would be ashamed!

1. Umm..hi. I am Lauren. I pronounce my name like this:

LAW-WREN

2. I may be a little biased, but I think it is the prettiest way to say it. Just sayin'...

3. I make fun of pigeons, and say they are hideous...but it's only to cover up the undying love I have for those sicknast little rats with wings.

4. I call my husband "The Tedward" on the blog, but never in real life. I didn't realize I never called him Tedward besides in blogland until the other night when he was reading my blog he asked "Who is Tedward?" and I had to tell him that Tedward was him. I don't see how he could be confused when I was talking about "kissing The Tedward". Like I kiss random people. Psh.

5. By the way...my husband is a little "special" if you know what I'm sayin'...

6. I like to make fun of myself...and my loved ones. Don't get offended when I make fun of you...it just means I love you.

7. I really have a thing for frosted mini wheats. They are kinda like my best friends. That I eat.

8. Edward Cullen is cool, I guess.

9. I was first in line at the first showing of Star Trek. I didn't plan it to be that way. We just showed up early so we could have the seats where you put your feet on the bar. Waiting in line, it appeared that we were serious fangirls and fanboys...and I am regretting arriving so early, for that reason. BTW...Chris Pine is teh.hottest.

10. Possoms are my favorite animal. Don't judge.

11. I was interviewed by a celebrity gossip website here. for my semi-cool Twilight website.

Now that you know about me...It's YOUR turn to comment to me and introduce yourself! I am stealing this idea from cute Niki at "A Lovely Lifestyle" because I am a stealer like that. If it's your first time commenting, YAY! for new friends! If you are a long time reader, tell me something I don't know :)

Lurkers, come out, come out!

my style icon

I watch Gossip Girl for one reason...
the fashion.
It really is exquisite.
Most of my fashion ideas come directly from watching the show.
Mainly from the character, Blair Waldorf.
Blair is a mean girl.
A mean girl with a killer fashion sense.
Ted loves her. I love her.
She is the bomb.
Let me introduce you to my style icon...
This nautical dress is down right amazing.
Could I ever get away with it? Heck no.

Love the wide, pink belt paired with this dress.
Do I love that they are riding standing with bikes? Yes.

I totally have the pieces to create this outfit. All I need is a scarf to tie around my neck.

Love the big bow on the one shoulder. It has a very couture feel to it.

I know for a fact that, that many ruffles would look horrible on me,
but I still love this outfit.

Who knew that many bold patterns could look so put together?
Srsly...in love.

In the show you know that Blair's icon is Audrey Hepburn.
Here she is channeling her inner Audrey.
Love the dress.

I love the headband here. Sooo cute.

Who is your fashion icon?

*PS...if you want to come to the "meet and greet", please email me!*

we're legit.

My friend Heidi is moving to Utah.
As happy as I am for her...I will miss her face.
So I had the brilliant idea of staging a hott photo shoot.
You know...since I have had soooooo many photography classes and stuff.
NOT.
I just pretend I know how to take pictures.
Anyway...since we are totally awesome lamespice, here we are, commemorating our friendship in a cool-style way :)
Pick your favorite!

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9.
{this is my favorite. i am proud of myself}

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