Last night I had the creepiest dream of all time. And since I want you all to have your own nightmares, I will proceed to tell you all about it in great detail.
So here I am, sleeping in our bed, with literally 7 blankets piled on top of me. Have I mentioned that our house is freakin' old and doesn't have the best insulation, so it's always freakin' cold? Like, not casually cold...like, dang cold. And since Ted has had pink eye, and has been sleeping in the other room with a sleeping bag (haha) in what I like to call "quarantine confinement", I have had free range of all of the blankets in the house.
Anyway, back to sleep...
My dream took place in a large auditorium. For some reason there were two different Joseph Gordon Levitts. They were both evil, which made me sad, but one was slightly more evil than the other one. Don't worry, they both looked good being evil, but since I was dreaming, I was scared. I, myself, was not a character in the dream...just an unfortunate bystander looking in on an unfortunate situation. For some reason that I cannot recall, the Joseph Gordon Levitts hated each other, and one ended up murdering the other. WITH A PRINTER! How even?! Well I will tell you. He shoved one of the Joseph Gordon Levitts in a printer feed and it shredded him to death, with all of the gory mass collecting in a special recepticle, for easy clean up? I don't even know. All I know is that at this point I kept telling myself, "Lauren! WAKE THE HECK UP! THIS IS NOT HOW YOU SHOULD SEE JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT!"
But dreams suck and never do what you want. Otherwise I would be having Disneyland dreams with Peeta and LeoDicap with me on Splash Mountain on the regular.
Next...super evil Joseph Gordon Levitt wheels the printer with the contents of the not-as-evil-but-still-sorta-evil Joseph Gordon Levitt onto the stage of the auditorium. I don't really know who all was in the auditorium, but it was packed. Josh Hutcherson was there in his Peeta garb. I remember taking note of that. Anyway, all of a sudden super evil Joseph Gordon Levitt starts cackling in the most evil of ways, and turns on the printer and proceeds to spray the entire audience with blood. WHY AM I DREAMING THIS?! At this point I am so sicked out and so frightened, I am shouting, "WAKE UP LAUREN, WAKE UP!!!!"
And I wake up.
But the nightmare hadn't ended because, as I laid in bed scared out of my mind, our printer TURNS ON AND STARTS PRINTING A PAPER. I am not making this up. The computer screen woke up on it's own and my printer STARTED PRINTING. I screamed and made Ted come in and say a prayer that I would be able to sleep. After he stopped laughing at me for being afraid of our printer.
He doesn't even know.
34 awesomespice comments:
hahahaha This is funny {not for you, of course}...I don't blame you, I would have been seriously creeped out!
Oh man, that is so funny. But not...have you seen Fargo? Because that printer story sounds a lot like the disgusting murder that made me cry and think, "Our kids have to grow up in this world!?"
Oh my goodness!! I seriously laughed out loud in my office! How does stuff like that even happen?! I will be evil eyeing my printer all day.
oh my goodness things like that have happened to me before. well not the whole printer blood spay thing, but when i wake up whatever i was dreaming about happened to be right next to me or turned on. yeah, i know how creeptacular and scary it can be!
Firstly, (@Christie): yes yes yes on Fargo. That's exactly what I imagined before I shuddered a little.
Secondly, I am having possibly one of the worst weeks of my life, and this post made me laugh. I haven't laughed in what feels like decades, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thirdly, I shall pray you get those images out of your head! A girl should have the ability to fantasize about Joseph Gordon Levitt freely without imagining murderous printers and blood! Blessings on you child.
Holy smokes! I would have been freaking out. Lol
NO IT DID NOT!!!
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard.. EWW im super creeped out right now!!!!!
hahahaha, that's great. I thought you were going to say something like, and I was still dreaming! Psych!
But no... your printer is actually haunted.
Your printer is haunted with the ghost of the lesser-evil-Joseph-Gordon-Levitt? I mean, that IS scary, but it also makes you basically famous and awesome.
So.
This story pretty much made my life. Ok... my day at least! Hilarious! But scary too. I hate scary dreams! But I know what we're all thinking... WHAT DID YOUR PRINTER PRINT?! :)
No worries...I secretly think my printer is a Dalek...
For some reason while reading this I thought of Johnny Depp being eaten by that bed in Nightmare On Elm street. Random. Anyway, sorry for your awful dream, but this is kinda funny cause I'm going to be seeing Joseph Gordon Levitt next week during a presentation he's doing for Sundance! At least if he brings a printer out onto the stage I'll know to move to the back so I don't get sprayed with blood :)
hahahahaha, oh my gosh - this made my day. And computers that turn on by themselves are evil... lol
h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s! i'm sorry you had a bad dream though! haha that would probably scare the bejesus out of me though too if the printer came on :/
xo lacey
That is so creepy. I would freak the heck out if that happened to me. And now i might just have to pull the plug of my printer tonight before going to bed...
Girl, you were probably dreaming about the printer because the printer was making creeptastic noises all night before it actually woke you up. That happens to me regularly. Well, not with printers, but with crazy kids outside making noise at the butt-crack of dawn. I pretty much have dreams about annoying pre-teens whining Monday thru Friday.
That is crazy! And SUPER scary! Nightmares are literally insane sometimes.
Hope tonight is better! Haha.
Bahaha!
This probably originated from the gory escalator thing.
Ya think?
that was TERRIFYING.
BAHAHA! That is the funniest dream ever. Well, terrifying. The way you tell it so wonderful. Wishing you sweet dreams for tonight!
HAHA. This earned a literal lol. But seriously, I would have been on my knees praying too. Spiritual attack much? Haha maybe not, but that was definitely a super creepy coincidence!
That would totally freak me out!
hahah you truly have a fascinating imagination! it wouldn't have been as bad if your real life printer hadn't started printing. I would have been freaked out after that dream too.
This totally made my day. Not because you had a scary dream cuz that it a trip, but because of your retelling of it all. I hate when you're in a dream like that, telling yourself to wake up & it just keeps going.
I had a dream once I was on a plane that was crashing. I was fully aware I was dreaming & thought of waking up for a minute but then I thought "I wanna see what happens." So I stay asleep. Right up until I see the plane get super close to the ground at maximum speed....yeah, woke myself right up at that point. Don't need to know!
Bahahahahaha!! That was the best thing I have ever read. I love it!
um, creepy! you need to have better dreams, lauren. like, srsly.
Yeah I have nightmares every night but I love nightmares. It's like an adventure or a horror movie. Ha ha, it's great!
That is freaky! But also hilarious! ha ha Hopefully no more printer dreams for you!
i about died when you said your printer starting going off. that is not okay. i think i would have been terrified for all time. how would i ever do my homework? and why of all people did it have to be an evil joseph gordon levitt? i like him too much.
Haha.
Oh dear.
Ky
www.thebirdssay.blogspot.com
first off, i cant believe i read all of that ( or that you typed all of those words, letters). But what a dream! there must be something in your subconscious that you are trying to work out, possibly. dont know.
crazy.
-m
OH MY GOSH, HOW AWFUL!! If only because Joseph Gordon Levitt is so dreamy that no girl should have to have that kind of dream about him!!
So funny!
Hi! I'm a new reader, thanks to Jenni.
& That is so creepy, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't die laughing when I read it. Also, I love your Hippogriff sentence for the comment box.
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